


He's just a little bit dangerous.

by lovenhardt1



Series: Teen verse. [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: HS AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 05:00:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovenhardt1/pseuds/lovenhardt1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Nope! You’re so not crushing on Tommy, no not at all. Not even a little.”</p>
<p>“We were cuddling Dani! And no I’m not…a little. This is going to be one of those all devouring type of things that leaves me miserable for the last year together in school.”</p>
<p>“Why?” her voice is kind and she sounds so genuinely confused that Adam wants to shake her.</p>
<p>“Because he is hung up on someone!”</p>
<p>Danielle grins. “Could that be,” She holds up a hand, “wait for it,” she lets Adam wait for half a minute before she says, “you?!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's just a little bit dangerous.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [qafmaniac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qafmaniac/gifts).



> The Beta on this fic is the amazing @aislinntlc. Thank you so much sweetie!

Danielle’s knee touches Adam’s under the table. He puts his pencil down on the notepad and looks at her quizzically. “What?”

“Look.” Her eyes go to the person standing in the doorframe, looking for a place to sit his non-existent ass down.

Adam frowns and sighs deeply; it is the third class today that Tommy Joe Ratliff apparently is attending together with Adam. This is going to be a fun, fun year.

“Remind me again why you don’t like him,” Danielle whispers.

“It’s not that I don’t like him. It’s more like he doesn’t like me. He never talks to me.”

Tommy walks by Adam’s desk without so much as a glace thrown his way and Adam looks at Danielle pointedly. The chair behind Danielle screeches loudly and she looks over her shoulder and smiles. “Hi.”

Tommy’s voice makes Adam’s toes curl in his shoes when he politely returns the greeting. Adam rolls his eyes, damned if he is going to turn and say hi just to be ignored to hell.

The teacher, Miss Peterson, is a few minutes late and rushes through the door. Dropping her bag on the desk, she starts biology class by announcing they should all take a good look at the person next to them because it will be the last class where they share that space. Starting tomorrow, the person to the right would be moving one chair forward and the person on the left staying put to say hi to their new lab partner. The entire class expresses their opinions on that with a variety of complaining noises. 

Danielle is on Adam’s right and Tommy Fucking Ratliff is behind her which means, oh for fuck’s sake, this year is going to be a pain in the ass! Adam joins the complaining choir. Danielle, God bless her, raises her hand. “Miss Peterson?”

“Yes Danielle.”

“Would you mind telling us why? I mean I sat down next to Adam because he’s my friend and we’re really good when we work together. We get things done and we know each other.”

Miss Peterson practically beams with excitement. “Exactly! Tomorrow we begin on the subject of human reproduction or if you will sexual education. I want you all to be little scientists; I want you to explore and discover. If you’re paired up with someone you already consider a good friend, then the curiosity dies and you take the safe known road.”

Danielle blinks and blushes. “You want me to explore and discover my sexuality with,” she eyeballs Isaac who apparently is going to be her new lab partner, “Isaac?”

Miss Peterson laughs. “No of course not, what I want you to do is to interview each other, to find out what makes the other person tick. This isn’t a subject to take lightly. I want you to behave as adults.” Adam groans. 

Miss Peterson looks at him. “Adam, can you tell me how attraction works?”

“Um, yeah. You see a person that intrigues you and you approach the person to learn more?”

“Uh huh. But you have a set of features that attracts you and a special type in personality that makes you interested. That’s why you want to learn more.” She looks at Tommy. “Tommy? Have you thought about what you want in a mate?”

Adam doesn’t really want to turn to look at Tommy but this is kind of interesting.

“Mate?” Tommy asks and Miss Peterson nods encouragingly. “You’re really going for the whole science thing here huh? Um, yeah. I’m a sucker for a nice ass, blue eyes and dark hair and a sweet slow sexy smile. As for personality, I have a soft spot for a person who dares to be vulnerable.”

It’s the most Adam has heard Tommy say in years. They might live close to each other; in fact only five houses separate them. Their mothers used to think they could have fun together if they actually tried. But Tommy’s silence has always made Adam feel uncomfortable. Tommy has these big brown eyes that seem to see everything, but he never shares his thoughts. It creeps Adam out. 

“That’s a good answer Tommy.” Tommy shrugs and before Adam has the chance to turn around, Tommy’s gaze captures Adam’s. A little smile tucks at the corner of Tommy’s lips and for some reason Adam blushes.

Miss Peterson goes on with the lecture about how and why attraction works the way it does, about how the survival of the fittest and all that nonsense still applies to the works. Adam zones it out when Danielle leans in and whispers, “I think he might be a sweet guy.”

Adam refuses to answer that sentiment. But it doesn’t take the wind out of Danielle’s sails, though. “I think he’s cute. My team or yours? I mean he didn’t say ‘she’,” she says in a wondering tone.

“Who cares?”

“I think you do.”

Adam rolls his eyes. “Obviously.”

“No but seriously… with the guyliner and all…do you think-”

“I don’t think anything when it comes to him.”

“Right.” She drags the word out and Adam sighs. He loves Danielle, but the girl gets some really ridiculous ideas sometimes. This is one of them!

The lesson ends and Miss Peterson stresses she wants to see everyone sitting with their new lab partner the next day and that she wants them all to prepare some kick ass question to ask for the next lesson, too.

Adam can’t think of a single question he wants to ask Tommy, not one.

**

The day gets even better when he shows up at work. Adam fights the urge to slam the door violently. Pulling a deep calming breath into his lungs, he shakes off the disappointment over the change in schedules. He was supposed to work with Charlie this afternoon. Charlie who has a great sense of humor and who is a nice guy and all. Instead he’s now sharing his shift with Ratliff. Working in a book store is far from Adam’s dream job, but this really ruins the day. The only people he’ll get to talk to will be customers. He sighs and opens the fridge to take a bottle of water. The door opens and Tommy enters the room without so much as a glance in Adam’s direction before pouring himself a cup of steaming coffee.With the mug in his hand and carefully sipping the coffee, he turns to look at Adam. “Hi Adam.”

“Tommy.”

Adam screws off the cap and sips the water, the silence in the room is deafening.

Tommy looks at the floor instead of Adam when he finally opens his mouth. “I guess we could use the advantage we have a possibility for here.”

“Um?”

Tommy tosses Adam a quick glance. “You know for class? Have you thought about questions?” 

“Not really. And what advantage?”

“We have time; you know working together today, to find some really good questions for each other.”

“Since when do you want to put that much effort into school work?” Adam knows he sounds defensive, but he can’t help it. It’s how he feels.

Tommy sighs and walks to the door, coffee mug in hand and with a shrug he says, “Alright then. We’ll wait and do the same lame interview as all the others.” 

They work together without any words spoken and Adam is about to explode. He feels like dying in this suffocating silence.

It’s the first time Adam actually has seen Tommy outside of school, at least for a long time. Their working schedule has never collided before and for some reason Tommy hardly ever participates in the weekend fun the other kids go to. It’s kind of strange, because Tommy is far from unpopular, fact is that people seems to like him. It’s not like he is in the popular crowd either, but he’s not one that gets picked on. It puzzles Adam.

Adam is annoyed with himself when he catches himself thinking about this as he puts books up on a shelf. He’s arguing with his own mind when a cute looking brown haired girl approaches him; she looks a little lost and a whole lot of sad. Adam can’t imagine why she looks that way wandering into a bookstore, but his heart still aches a little for her. He hates when people hurt. “Excuse me. Do you know where I can find Tommy?”

“Yeah, sure. Come with me.” He sets off to find Tommy, pretty sure he saw him heading for a new cup of coffee a minute ago. While he walks through the store his mind is occupied with why she needs to see Tommy. More info is added to the enigma.

Adam opens the door and immediately sees Tommy. Tommy however must have looked past Adam, because his eyes go wide and the coffee mug is put on the counter in a rush. “Oh honey,” spills from his lips as he scoots around Adam and throws his arms around the girl’s neck. Adam watches them stupefied as Tommy presses tiny little kisses to her mouth and she clings to him. When her tears begin to fall Adam realizes that he has no right to be watching and strangely unwilling, he forces himself to leave them.

Going back to the shelves he thinks about what Tommy had revealed about himself in biology class. The girl has brown hair, and if Adam remembered correctly her ass was okay, you know for a girl. He has no problem imagining that she has a killer smile, too. Maybe this girl is the girl that pushes Tommy Joe’s buttons; they sure seem close. Adam is briefly tempted to call Danielle, but then the thought of missing her expression when he is telling her kills that idea. It would be so much more fun to do that face to face.

Ten minutes goes by before Tommy and the girl show up again. Adam sees Tommy press a key into her hand before he says to her, “My mom will probably be sleeping when you get there; just lock yourself in and crawl under the covers in my bed. I’ll be home in a couple of hours and then we’ll talk to Mom about you staying for a couple of days.” 

The girl nods hesitantly. “But Tommy, I don’t want to be a burden.” 

“You’ll never be a burden; friends help each other out, especially when things get tough.” He pulls her into a hug and she returns it. Adam stares at them, can’t look away. 

“Love you Mia. Always,” is spoken so softly and lovingly that Adam has to look away. 

Adam accidently drops a book and it makes so much noise that he almost jumps at the sound. The girl, Mia, pulls out of Tommy’s embrace and kisses his cheek. “See you at home.” 

Tommy makes a cute little sound in his throat. “Oh I like the sound of that,” he says before swatting her behind, and she walks out with a little headshake.

Tommy doesn’t say anything about that whole scene. He just offers Adam a little sad smile and a shrug. Adam has no idea what to make of it all. The only thing he’s sure of is that he still wants Danielle to be his biology partner. He still has no idea about how to communicate with Tommy. Tomorrow is gonna suck balls.

**

When Adam enters the biology class the next day, Tommy is already there, sitting in Danielle’s spot. Adam wants to turn around and leave. That isn’t really an option so he drags his ass over to his place and sits down. Danielle is already sitting next to Isaac and they seem so damn comfortable that Adam wants to hit her with his text book. At least she could be as miserable about this as he is. 

Adam sneaks a peek at Tommy, who’s leaning back in his chair, legs crossed by the ankles and watching Adam with a blank face. When their eyes meet Adam has say to something. “Morning.”

A smile tucks at the corner of Tommy’s lips. It looks like he’s fighting the smile all the way though. “Good morning Adam.”

Miss Peterson walks through the door and stops to look around the class. “I see you found your new partners. I want you to find a quiet spot somewhere and come back here in 45 minutes. You can choose to use that time on one interview or take turns in asking each other questions. No matter what, you’ll get another chance again tomorrow. And I want some good and personal answers, so dig in and get to know each other!”

Adam looks at Tommy. “Where do you wanna go?”

Tommy shrugs. “The library?”

“Everybody is going there.”

Tommy nods thoughtfully. “Hmm, okay I know the place to go.” Tommy takes his notebook and a pencil and leaves; Adam hurries to do the same.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Tommy leads the way and suddenly Adam realizes that they’re heading for the music room. Tommy knocks on the door before pushing it ajar. He pokes his head in and checks the room is empty before entering. Adam stands still for a second, and Tommy must have sensed Adam’s hesitation because fingers curl around his wrist and suddenly he’s dragged after Tommy. 

The room isn’t designed to be a class room in that ‘sit down and learn’ way so when Tommy sits down in the middle of the floor, Adam just follows. He can’t resists the urge to rub his skin where Tommy’s touched his a moment before, but it doesn’t change the tingling sensation in the wake of it.

“Why are you so uncomfortable around me?”

“What?”

Tommy doesn’t answer, he just waits for Adam’s answer, and he radiates so much calm patience that Adam finally cracks.

“Because of that! You never talk to me, you just watch me with those ridiculously all-knowing pretty brown eyes and I have no fucking idea what to say to you. I don’t know what to think of you. I don’t know why you don’t like me, but for some reason you’ll talk to the other kids, like Danielle for example, but not me!”

Still irritatingly calm, Tommy says, “But you never say hello to me, Danielle does. You never even look at me if you can avoid it and that’s okay I guess. I just wish we could at least be polite to each other.”

Adam feels lost. “But you don’t like me. Why is it so important to be polite?”

Tommy snorts softly. “Who says I don’t like you?”

“You never talk to me; you’re so fucking quiet all the time.”

Tommy sucks his lower lip into his mouth and nods slowly. “Yeah I know, I just…. I’m not much of a talker when I don’t know people and I kinda like to observe my surroundings instead. It’s not because I don’t like you. I do.”

Adam isn’t all that sure what to do with this new information, but he feels like reaching out. “So from now on….we talk to each other, maybe we’ll even become friends.”

Nodding, and with something Adam wants to read as happiness shining in his eyes, Tommy says, “Yeah I’d like that.”

Adam checks the time and looks at Tommy. “So about these?” Adam motions his hand between them, hoping Tommy will get where he is going.

“Ask away,” Tommy says, brushing a lock of his hair out of his eye, and Adam can’t stop looking at him. Adam blinks and re-focuses.

“Is the girl from yesterday your girlfriend?”

A slow, tender smile spreads on Tommy’s face. “No. She’s a friend that happens to be a girl. My best friend actually.”

“Oh.” Adam thinks about that for a second, on the kisses pressed to her mouth, on the loving tone Tommy used when he told her he loved her. So Mia is Tommy’s Danielle. Go figure, they have something in common. 

“Is it my turn now or do you want to keep questioning me?”

Adam thinks about that for a while: on one hand he’s not too sure about all this, letting Tommy in and answering any questions, that still feels a bit scary; on the other hand it would feel more like a conversation if they took turns. “Ask away.” He says before he chickens out.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Tommy asks right away.

“No,” Adam answers before realizing what Tommy was asking; that meant Tommy knew. “How did you-”

Tommy shrugs. “Got eyes and ears Adam, I’m sure we all know; it’s not a big deal.” Tommy writes in his note book and Adam wants to sneak a peek but manages to control his curiosity.

“Oh.” Adam finds that a little disturbing; he actually thought his family and a few close friends were the only ones that knew. “It is to me, though.”

“Why?” The question is asked softly and with what Adam reads, a genuine curiosity, but he hasn’t really recovered from the statement of ‘we all know’ yet and doesn’t want to answer.

“My turn to ask,” Adam says instead.

Tilting his head and looking at Adam with a gaze that says ‘I see what you’re doing and it won’t work,’ Tommy says, “Alright then. Ask.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Not at the moment.” Adam scribbles in his note book too; Miss Peterson expects him to. Tommy’s soft voice makes him raise his head though. “So, why is it a big deal?”

Adam sighs; he knew Tommy would go back to that. “Really, Tommy? You have to ask?”

Tommy shrugs. “Just want to understand you.”

“Well, the whole not being like the others thing? The constant worry about being bullied? How many reasons do you want?”

It takes a moment before Tommy answers and Adam wants to squirm under his gaze. “Who says you have to be like everybody else? Be you! Be awesome in your way. Own your shit, Adam, and who would bully you? You’re like this cute ball of fluff and happiness that everyone wants to cuddle.”

“You think I’m cute?” That was so not supposed to come out loud.

Tommy nods once, slowly. “I think when you smile; you make the people around you smile too.”

A warm giddy feeling spreads in Adam’s chest. “Thank you.”

“When are you happiest?” Tommy asks in a serious tone, like that’s something he has been wondering about for a long time.

“It was my turn!” Adam says.

Tommy laughs. “Nope, you blew yours on asking me if I thought you were cute, sorry.”

He doesn’t sound one bit sorry to Adam, but Tommy’s laughter is contagious and so is the teasing. “So that’s how we play it?” Adam giggles. It feels good, this light mood; there is something there, though, lying underneath it all, some kind of weird tension Adam can’t name.

“Yup, answer.”

“Um, when I sing?”

Tommy beams. “Cool. I wanna hear that.”

Adam almost asks if Tommy really means that, but the way Tommy look at him, like he almost expects Adam to, and maybe even hopes for it, stops Adam. He wants to know stuff about Tommy too. “Why do you wear makeup?”

“At first it was because it pissed Dad off. But it looks good on me and I feel sexy.”

Adam chews on that as he makes a note.

“What’s your type?” Tommy’s next question confuses Adam a little.

“Type?”

“Yeah what attracts you in a dude? It’s what we’re expected to talk about.” The cute little sound coming from Tommy when he ends the sentence makes Adam’s heart beat a little faster and suddenly his palms are all sweaty.

“Um.” Adam blushes deeply and Tommy shoves his knee playfully.

“Come on, it isn’t that hard. Just say it.”

“I kinda like when he’s smaller than me. Danielle usually says I’m supposed to date a pixie.”

“A pixie? So tiny and fragile gets you going?” Tommy is smiling wickedly.

“Not fragile, I need someone that will flat out tell me when I’m too much.”

“Bossy huh?”

“Protective is more like it.”

“I get that, I guess I’m like that too. Protective I mean, anyway Mia says I am.”

Adam nods, he’s pretty sure he saw that yesterday too. “Um, so I know I’m probably stepping right over the line here, but yesterday, in the book store. Why was she crying?”

“Her family is pretty messed up sometimes.” The smile is gone and concern has taken over Tommy’s face. Adam immediately gets a little worried about Mia.

“So you what? Take care of her?”

“Yeah. Something like that. Listen Adam, it’s not that I don’t wanna tell you, but I honestly don’t know if Mia…” Tommy’s voice trails off.

“Oh. Yeah, I understand.”

“I… I just have to ask her permission first before I open my mouth. I don’t wanna hurt her unintentionally.”

Adam nods and writes ‘loyal’ in his note book; he maybe even uses the time to avoid Tommy’s searching gaze. 

“Have you ever kissed a boy?” Adam whips his head up. Tommy catches his gaze right away and keeps it hostage. Adam feels the heat rise in his cheeks and knows he’s blushing, and not just a little. “No.”

There is nothing but that genuine curiosity in Tommy’s eyes. A thought appears to Adam; Danielle pointed out that Tommy hadn’t said ‘she’ yesterday, and before he thinks the better of it he asks, “Have you?”

Tommy shakes his head. “Not really.”

Adam is intrigued now. “Not really? Either you have or you haven’t.”

Tommy giggles. “Okay then we need to define kissing. Because if ‘kissing’ is like me and Mia were kissing yesterday, then yeah I’ve kissed a boy many times. Same goes for a peck on the lips for a hello or goodbye. But kissing for the romantic sake of it, the whole ‘I wanna get in your pants thing’, no that I haven’t done…yet.”

Adam cannot believe his ears. “You kiss guys hello and goodbye and for comfort?”

Tommy shrugs lightly. “Why wouldn’t I? My friend Christian and I have always done that, if you can do it with your female friends then why not with your male ones?”

Adam snorts. “Are you for real?”

“Life is too short not to show people you love them, Adam. My mom taught me that showing affection is way cooler than keeping it in, and I’m a huggy guy.”

“Wow.” Adam says while scribbling.

“Fuck! We gotta go back.” Tommy is off the floor in a sec and Adam does the same, checking the time and damn they’re already a little late; they’ll have to run to class to get back in time. They run laughing through the hall. Tommy might be fast enough but Adam’s legs are much longer, and when Tommy can’t keep up Adam slows down just enough to grab Tommy’s hand to help him. That’s the way they stumble into the class room. Panting Tommy gets out, “Sorry we’re late Miss Peterson, we got caught up.”

Adam lets go of Tommy’s hand and the small sigh Tommy lets out sounds a little disappointed, but Adam can’t be sure.

“Well if there are notes and you got to know more about how the other person works mentally then I’m okay with that.”

“Oh there are and we did.” Tommy smirks.

They sit down next to each other and Danielle sends Adam a quizzical look over her shoulder. Adam sends her a smile, trying to reassure her that everything is just fine. He’s not completely convinced about that though. His heart is racing and he knows for a fact it’s not entirely from running. Oh no, it’s from running down the hall holding hands with Tommy. Tommy of all people! Tommy, that kisses other boys just because it’s way cooler to show affection than not.

 

“So you two seemed a lot more relaxed around each other when you came back.” Danielle raises a brow and Adam kind of wants to wipe the smirk off her face, but he also wants to share all these new bites of information he’s been receiving.

“Yeah.”

Danielle bumps her shoulder against Adam. “I need more than that.” She gets a teasing glint in her eyes and starts to sing. “Tell me more, tell me more. Like does he have a-”

Adam shoves at her. “Oh shut up.”

“Just admit it Adam. You think he’s hot.”

“Maybe.”

They get disturbed by some kids running between them and for some reason they don’t really get a chance to talk about Tommy for the rest of the day. The subject is however remembered the second they cross the parking lot after the last lesson. 

They both spot Tommy at the same time, rushing towards a shiny car. Adam sees Mia leaning up against the car, smiling widely at Tommy as he hurries to meet her. She opens her arms and he hugs her, grinning like a loon. They kiss and Mia lets go of him.Her eyes catch Adam’s and she smiles a little insecurely at him; he raises a hand and waves hesitantly. Tommy turns to follow Mia’s gaze and sees Adam. A smile spreads on his face and he says something to Mia that Adam can’t hear, but Mia nods and they lace their fingers together, before they start walking towards Adam and Danielle.

“Oh I guess that answers that,” Danielle says quietly.

“Hmm, what?” Adam tries to focus on Danielle but Tommy is looking at him, in a way that makes Adam forget the world around him.

“If he’s playing on my team or yours.”

“Oh. But they’re not…. She’s his Danielle.” Adam smiles and ruffles Danielle’s hair playfully. She groans loudly and ducks away.

“His what?”

“Best friend.”

“Oooh.” 

“Adam!” Tommy says happily dragging Mia behind him. “So I know you two met yesterday, but Adam, this is Mia, my best friend and my partner in crime. She’s wicked and I love her.” 

He laughs and pushes Mia forward. “Mia this is Adam, but you know all about him already.” Adam feels his eyes grow huge, what the hell was that supposed to mean? Tommy doesn’t seem to notice though and goes on. “And that pretty there is Danielle she’s Adam’s version of a best friend.”

“Hi Mia. I’m.. I hope you feel better today,” Adam says; he doesn’t really know if it’s okay to mention that but he can’t just ignore it either.

“Hi. Yeah.” She looks at Tommy who smiles reassuringly at her. “I’m staying with Tommy for a while, so yeah. I’m better.”

Tommy kisses her cheek affectionately. “Mia is driving me home today, want a ride?”

“Um.” Adam looks at Danielle, the sound of not taking the bus is really appealing and then there is the whole and very new ‘Tommy’ thing, but he promised Danielle they would spend the day together, and Adam doesn’t break promises. Danielle smiles knowingly.

“Got room for one more? Adam and I sorta had plans today.”

Mia nods. “Sure.” 

The drive home is awkward and then somehow not; the girls chatter on about everything and nothing and Tommy is his quiet self and more than once Adam feels Tommy’s gaze on him. Had it been yesterday it would have annoyed the hell out of Adam but now it has changed to a strange more persistent flutter in his stomach. It’s weird and Adam doesn’t really know what to make of it all. 

When Mia pulls up to the curve to Adam’s house, the two girls have made plans to see each other in the near future and Danielle jumps out of the car gleefully, waiting for Adam to get his ass moving. Adam locks gazes with Tommy for a second before Tommy smiling says, “See you tomorrow. Be prepared for some seriously private questions.” And then he winks at Adam. Tommy’s face scrunches up in the most adorable way and Adam laughs through his embarrassment; he’ll never be prepared enough for any kind of questions coming from Tommy’s lips.

“Back at ya,”’ he retorts in a teasing tone.

Danielle and Adam end up on Adam’s bed, schoolbooks between them but talking about everything else but homework. It’s probably a good thing that Adam’s mom will be home a little later to remind them of what’s important.

Adam tells Danielle everything that has happened since yesterday morning, well everything but the fact that Tommy apparently kisses a lot and boys too. And now she’s looking at him with an amused expression. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

“No. I just… I always thought he didn’t like me because he didn’t talk to me, and now I know it’s because he’s kinda shy. And now that he’s talking I find a really interesting and kinda brave person.”

“Shy?” Danielle thinks about it for a second. “See that’s not how I see him at all Adam. I think it’s like he…. I don’t know… contemplates?”

“That too, but….” Adam thinks about their talk and shrugs. “Anyway, when I suggested we should try being friends he looked like it was the best idea ever. And it looks like he really did mean it. I mean with the ride home and everything.”

Danielle laughs. “Yeah and the way he looks at you. I still think there’s a possibility that he wants more than that.”

Adam thinks about that little quiet ‘yet’ Tommy had added when he talked about kissing boys. It hadn’t sounded like Tommy was dying to, more like he was open for it, in case he ever felt like it. “Yeah? You also think I wanna fuck him.”

She smirks. “Because you do.”

Adam sighs. Danielle is without a doubt the person that knows him the best, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the right to keep things to himself a bit longer, even though she won’t believe a word he says. “I do not. I barely know the guy.”

She snorts. “You don’t need to know him to wanna fuck him.”

A rapid knock on the door silences them and Leila opens the door. “Hey kids, I’m home, which means you’ll be doing your homework and helping me in the kitchen when you’re done. I want to know how your day was.”

Adam groans but Danielle giggles, “Sure Leila.”

Leila smiles and leaves them to finish their homework.

“Are you gonna tell her?”

“About?” Adam says, hoping playing dumb will save his ass.

She rolls her eyes. “Tommy.”

“She knows about Tommy, it’s not like his mother kept him a secret.”

“Your crush on him!” 

This time it’s Adam’s turn to roll his eyes. “Don’t have one.”

“Oh my God you’re stubborn,” she sighs.

Adam cups her face and lays a sweet kiss on her lips. “But you love me. Now let’s get to work.”

 

When Adam lies in bed that night his mind keeps wandering back to that kissing conversation again, and that little ‘yet’ and to the strange tension that seems to run through him whenever Tommy touches him. He’s totally developing a crush, but he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t know for certain if Tommy is into guys, and even if he is, then there is no evidence that Tommy’s attracted to him. 

It takes a while for Adam to fall asleep and when he does it’s a restless sleep.

 

They have biology as the last lesson and even though Adam talks with Tommy several times during the day, it’s short and abrupt because of classes and other people and it only makes Adam nervous. He wants to be free to ask Tommy all kinds of questions but at the same time he’s scared of the answers.

“Hi Adam. You wanna walk with me to class?” Tommy asks Adam as he’s hauling the books out of his locker.

“Sure,” Adam says, a nervous anticipation strumming through his veins.

A voice, shy and nervous distracts him, though. 

“Tommy.” A girl Adam hasn’t really seen before is looking up at Tommy, twirling a lock of her hair around a finger. She looks kinda like she’s flirting to Adam.

Tommy smiles and leans back against the locker. “Hi Abigail.”

She takes a step closer to Tommy, leans in a bit, and Adam is torn between wanting to leave and ask her to. He has no right to be jealous, but the feeling is still there. 

“Are you coming tonight?” she asks, batting her lashes.

Confusion is written all over Tommy’s face. “Um, to what?”

“The game,” Abigail says like it’s the most obvious thing in the universe. 

Tommy smiles. “Nope. Sorry baby, I’m not much of a sports fan.”

“Oh. Um… okay I just… I wanted to ask you ….” Her voice trails off and she steps back, looking at everything else than Tommy. 

Tommy seems to finally get with the program and realize what this is all about. Adam wants to hit him in the head for being this slow.

“Oh. Oooh. Abigail, I think you’re sweet and all but I’m not- I don’t really spend much time at all these things. I need a lot of time alone, I’m weird like that. I really am.”

She looks embarrassed and Adam can almost feel how awkward it must be for her. Tommy reaches out and puts two fingers under her chin and raises her gaze to meet his. “Next time I wanna go to one of those things, I’ll ask you if you’re free to go with me, okay?”

“Yeah?” she sounds hopeful.

“Sure,” Tommy says, “But I doubt you will by then.”

The bell rings and Tommy turns to Adam. “Shit we’re late again. This is so gonna be our thing isn’t it?”

 

They hurry to class just to be sent off to a quiet place again. The music room is still available so they sit down like the day before, notebooks and pens ready, but completely ignored.

“Who’s first?” Adam asks. He has to say something because Tommy isn’t. 

“I dunno? You thought of anything?” The question makes Adam a little uncomfortable because he sure has been giving Tommy and his life a lot of thoughts during the last forty-eight hours.

“Um, yeah….”

Tommy smiles warmly. “Then go ahead.”

Adam doesn’t know how to ask this, but after a short thinking pause he works his way through the most urgent question. “Just before… when that girl… she was obviously flirting and wanted to ask you out… why didn’t you say yes? I mean you basically said you’d go out with her if it wasn’t because it was…. You know? School related.”

Tommy nods. “Hmm, I probably would go out with her. She’s sweet and pretty. The truth is that I spend enough time with all these people here in school. I want time with my other friends too and I wasn’t lying. I need time to myself; my mom calls it Tommy-time. I love doing nothing, to be a couch potato and watch movies or mess around on my guitar. She is the love of my life.”

The way Tommy looks when he talks about his guitar makes Adam grin. Now he knows why Tommy wanted to hear him sing. Music is another thing they have in common.

“So I was wondering, since you haven’t kissed a boy yet, have you ever kissed a girl or wanted to?” Tommy asks, resuming the pattern from yesterday.

“No and no. I know that’s not for me, but I’m guessing you have?”

“A couple,” Tommy shrugs, “but Mia was the first.” 

“Mia?” Adam can’t hold the surprise back.

Tilting his head Tommy asks, “Why does that surprise you?”

“I thought she was you best friend.”

“She is and she was at the time too. I dunno we just… we needed to find out if that was all it was or if it could be more. Anyway, she was an awesome teacher even though there weren’t any sparks to make it all that interesting. Since you haven’t kissed yet you might wanna ask Danielle to help you out. I bet she has experience in that department.”

Adam is stupefied. “Kiss Danielle?” Tommy nods. “But what good would that do? It can’t be all that complicated,” Adam states, because kiss Danielle? He’s gay, why would he ever do something like that?

Tommy grins. “It’s not, but there is some technique involved.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But my bet is on you being great at it.” 

Wanna find out? Is the thing Adam really wants to blurt but that wouldn’t be a good thing, so instead he forces out, “I’ll ask her.”

“Good for you!” Tommy smirks.

“So you’re straight?” Adam asks and for the first time Tommy looks away. He doodles in his notebook while answering Adam in a soft tone.

“I have no idea what I am. I think I’m mostly attracted to girls but it has happened that a good looking guy does it for me.”

Oh this is interesting, Adam thinks and pushes the issue. “So you’re bi?”

“I honestly don’t know. The truth is that I’ve only been crushing on one other boy.” Tommy throws Adam a shy glance before going back to doodling.

Oh. Adam feels his heart sink, this doesn’t sound promising at all. “Yesterday you said you haven’t kissed a boy like that yet. I’m obviously guessing here but were you hoping that he would… I mean are you still crushing on him?”

Tommy bites his lip and then there is another shy glance, which Adam doesn’t get. This is the same guy that told him to be awesome in his own way yesterday. There is not one sign of that confidence now. It’s odd. 

“Very much, yeah.” It’s almost whispered out.

“Oh. Does he know?”

A shy smile pulls at Tommy’s lips. “Nope. I’m such a chicken, but I’m working on building up my cool to do something about that.”

“Wow. I’m so not sure I could do that, not that it matters.” Adam shrugs, trying to shrug off his disappointment too.

“Why doesn’t it matter?” Tommy is looking at Adam again, this time he keeps their gazes locked, though.

“I always develop crushes on someone very unattainable; either they’re straight or already spoken for.” Adam sighs; this really seems to be the story of his life.

“Sorry Adam, that sucks.” Tommy looks serious and empathic but then something sparks in his eyes, mischievousness to be more accurate. “Or you know it really doesn’t,” he says, grinning.

Adam groans and face-palms. “Oh my God, shut up. Now you’re putting images in my head.”

“But good ones, right? I wonder what that’s like.”

Adam feels the heat creep up his neck and cheeks. Vivid pictures of Tommy on his knees looking up at him with those pretty lips stretched around his cock, make it hard to breathe and his pants uncomfortably tight. Yeah. Because he needs distraction and because he has no idea what to say he looks at the clock. “Fuck Tommy, we’re late again.”

Tommy grins, “Told you, it’s gonna be our thing, but whatever, right? Time flies when in good company.”

Adam’s heart does that flip flop thingy. “Yeah, it seems so.”

They run off to class but this time Adam doesn’t grab Tommy’s hand. He’s got the memo, Tommy is caught up on someone else.

**

Sighing, Adam looks out the window. Saturday is lazy and a little boring. It’s not really that interesting to write an English essay. Neil is his usual pain-in-the-ass self and annoying the fuck out of Adam and he needs a distraction. It comes a few minutes later when the doorbell rings.

Adam hears his mom open the door and greet the person, with a half ear, not really paying attention. That’s until he hears Mrs. Ratliff’s voice. It’s not like he isn’t used to that voice but it doesn’t sound like she’s dropping by alone.

Intrigued, Adam leaves his place by the window in his room to investigate. Sure enough, there’s Tommy and Mia. She is the first who sees Adam standing on top of the stairs and her eyes twinkle when she tugs Tommy’s hand, letting him know Adam’s there.

Tommy turns his attention to Adam. “I hope it’s okay?” he asks, doing a little apologizing shrug.

Adam nods and gestures for them to come up. Tommy fucking Ratliff is in his home, how weird is that? Awesome weird, but weird. Adam tries to ignore the sexual tension strumming in him as he invites Mia and Tommy into his room.

“What were you doing?” Tommy asks as he curiously looks around Adam’s room.

Adam feels a bit like being on display and he has to clear his throat before answering. “That English paper we’re supposed to hand in next week.”

“Oh that.” Tommy’s frown speaks clearly of how little attention he has paid that essay. Mia slaps Tommy’s head from behind, but there’s no real force behind it. “You’re supposed to do that too aren’t you?”

With a regretful smile and a little shrug Tommy says, “Um, yeah?”

She sighs. “Guessed so, you gotta do your fucking homework idiot. Be smart.” 

Tommy laughs; the sound of it makes Adam’s heart do flip flops. “I’m smart enough to use my big puppy eyes to get you to write it for me.” Tommy bats his lashes at Mia, who shakes her head vigorously.

“No, no, no. I’m not falling for those again.”

Sassy as hell and way too cute to be allowed to use his charms, Tommy tilts his head and asks daringly. “Wanna bet?”

“Really?” Adam asks with great skeptism. “You get Mia to do your homework?” Tommy grins. “Naw, only happened once.” 

Mia clears her throat and glares at Tommy. 

“Or twice.” Tommy corrects, smirking. “I gotta take advantage of her being older and knowing the answers.”

Tommy moves around in Adam’s room, touching everything. He looks like he’s mapping the room and Adam feels nervous about it, it almost feels like a test. “Say something,” he says.

Tommy raises his head and looks at Adam. “Something!”

Adam groans and Tommy smiles. “I like what you’ve done to the room. Cool posters.”

Adam feels like breathing again. “Thanks.”

They end up watching TV, all three of them on Adam’s bed. It’s one of those moments where he’s profoundly happy about his mom and dad understanding his need to sprawl when he sleeps and therefore giving into buying him a huge bed.

Adam is perhaps watching Tommy more than the TV, but Tommy doesn’t notice so it’s all good.

“Jesus, Tommy. Would you stay still for two seconds?” Mia scolds when Tommy fidgets for the millionth time. He is between Adam and Mia, trying to fit his body against Mia’s. Adam smiles, Tommy is adorable like that.

“I’m not comfy and I’m cold,” Tommy whines and tries to get closer. Mia moves a bit and Tommy retaliates with a thigh thrown over hers.

Mia sighs heartfelt and long. “No you’re a cuddle slut.”

Tommy snickers. “So shut up and cuddle me.”

Mia sends Adam a pained but playful gaze. “Please? Take him off my hands?”

“Um.” Adam has got no words. Only images and they fuck with his brain and apparently his dick, too.

“I’m begging you, I’ll write that essay for you,” Mia says and shoves at Tommy, who turns towards Adam. Huge soft brown eyes shining with hope stare up at him.

Adam swallows when Tommy licks his lips before chewing down on his bottom lip. Adam is beyond fucked. He raises an arm and Tommy beams at him as he snuggles close.

Adam’s heart should be caught in a racehorse’s chest, beating so hard he’s sure it’s visible. He tries to think of something else, something other than Tommy’s warm body pressed closely against his, or the intoxicating smell of Tommy or even how goddamn right it feels. Clearing his throat he whispers, “You really are a huggy guy aren’t you?”

Tommy looks so content when he whispers back. “Yeah.”

Adam feels a little bold after that so he continues whispering in a teasing tone. “So I guess this means you’re starting your kissing routine with me too, soon?”

Tommy tenses and Adam could kick his own ass as he wonders how bad he messed up, especially when he looks into those brown eyes and he sees something there, something fragile, but it escapes him before he can name it. With a glance at Mia, Tommy says quietly, “I wouldn’t do that unless you’d want me to. I get it’s not something most people are okay with.”

Backpedaling Adam quickly says, “I was just teasing. I think it’s awesome you do that, I thought you knew that.”

Tommy looks at him for a long time, searching. “So you wouldn’t mind?”

Knowing things are okay Adam smiles. “No. Someone told me it’s way cooler to show people you care than not to.”

Mia laughs at something and it drags Tommy’s attention from Adam. “Aww, Tommy look! That’s fucking awesome.”

Tommy grins. “I should do that. It’d piss off the old man much more than the eyeliner and mascara. Wanna help me do it?”

“No baby, you’re on your own here, your dad is kind enough to let me stay under his roof. I’m not biting the hand that feeds me.”

“Pussy.”

Mia giggles. “That might be so but you try living with a-”

Tommy looks devastated. “Sorry. Didn’t mean it-”

“Like that. Yeah I know. But seriously I’m not helping you dye your hair pink.”

Tommy pouts and Adam can’t stop the chuckle. Tommy elbows him but keeps his gaze locked on Mia’s. “You suck.”

“You wish.” She winks and Tommy laughs.

“I’ll ask Christian instead, he doesn’t suck.” 

Mia laughter is bubbly when she throws back, “He would. He so would.”

Adam frowns; he was sure Tommy said Christian was a close friend and nothing more. “No he wouldn’t and ew! I do not want that picture in my head, dude is like a brother to me!”

Mia snorts. “He so would, have you looked in the mirror?” 

Adam kind of loves this banter between them and he also sort of loves that Tommy hasn’t moved since he snuggled into Adam’s arms. It’s like Tommy somehow feels how he fits too.

“Yeah, a scrawny guy with no ass stares back at me. It’s not pretty.”

Mia leans over and ruffles Tommy’s hair affectionately. “Right. You’re ugly.” Tommy flips her off and Mia giggles. “And stupid. Maybe you should have been born blond instead of dyeing it.”

Laughing, Tommy pushes Mia off the bed using his legs and Adam to lean his bodyweight against to get the leverage. When Mia sits on the floor laughing Tommy turns and snuggles into Adam. “Meanie! You can go, I’ve got another to cuddle me and I’m keeping him.” He sticks his tongue out before gazing up at Adam. “You wanna help me?” Tommy lets a finger brush a lock of Adam’s hair away from his forehead. “I mean you have obviously done it before so I’ll be in good hands.”

Adam’s voice might tremble but he can’t fucking control it. “Um, yeah. Sure, if that’s what you want.”

“Great.” Tommy smiles sunnily.

They make plans to do it the week after, because Tommy wants to be sure they’re not interrupted by his mother. Well, Tommy makes plans because Adam is way too busy picturing what this means in his head and fighting the nervous arousal running wild in his veins.

 

When Danielle drops by later that evening, Adam can’t hold it in anymore. Before she closes the door to his room behind her, words are spilling from him.

“Oh God Dani, Tommy was here today and we were watching TV and then he wanted to cuddle with Mia but she’d had enough of him because he kept fidgeting around and she practically begged me to take him off her hands and then he looked at me with those ridiculous brown eyes all hopeful and shit-“ Adam pulls a sharp and deep breath in to continue his story and Danielle laughs. 

“Nope! You’re so not crushing on Tommy, no not at all. Not even a little.”

“We were cuddling Dani! And no I’m not…a little. This is going to be one of those all devouring type of things that leaves me miserable for the last year together in school.”

“Why?” her voice is kind and she sounds so genuinely confused that Adam wants to shake her.

“Because he is hung up on someone!”

Danielle grins. “Could that be,” She holds up a hand, “wait for it,” she lets Adam wait for half a minute before she says, “you?!”

“Me?”

“You worry me! Like literally worry me. Yes moron, you.” She shakes her head fondly and flops down on Adam’s bed. “Have you not been paying attention at all in biology?” 

Adam frowns and sends Danielle an inquisitive look. She sighs dramatically. “About the signs of when someone is interested in you?”

“Oh. Um, yeah?”

Like she’s the queen of patience she asks, “Does Tommy touch you?”

Adam nods, “But Tommy touches a lot of people; it’s his thing, kinda like my mom. Lots of people are like that. I’m like that.”

Danielle makes her world known eye-roll. “Okay then, does he ever gaze at you when he thinks you’re not looking? Or does he find small or non-existent reasons for seeing you?..... like… Oh my God…today?”

“Yeah?”

“So it’s safe to say Tommy is interested don’t you think?”

“You really think so?”

She gets off the bed and walks over to him. Cradling his face she asks softly, “Baby, is this insecurity speaking or are you just that blind?”

“I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”

Danielle hugs him sweet and caring. And Adam remembers something. “I gotta ask you something. It’s something Tommy told me I should do.”

Danielle sends him a ‘go-on-look’ and he does. “Could you teach me how to kiss?”

“How to kiss?”

“Yeah Tommy said-”

Snorting, Danielle pokes him in the chest. “I bet he did. Listen Adam. Ask Tommy to teach you and if you don’t wanna put yourself on the line ask him to do it in the name of science. I’m sure you’ll get your answer to if he wants in your pants or not.”

“I can’t do that!”

“Sure you can. Biology is a blessing in your case.”

“I can?” Adam lets the idea grow on him.

“Yes.” It’s said with enough confidence that Adam buys the idea.

“I can.”

“Good boy,” Danielle says teasingingly and kisses his cheek.

**

“You really want to do this?” Adam asks Tommy, not really believing they’re about to dye Tommy’s hair pink.

“Hell yeah!”

“Tell me again why?”

Tommy thinks a little about it. “It’ll look cool, push peoples buttons and maybe if I’m lucky it’ll piss Dad off enough to actually care about what I do.”

“He doesn’t care? I find that hard to believe.”

“I know my dad loves me, but sometimes I just wish he would stop being so fucking busy all the time. I tell him I want to make music for a living when I’m done with school, that I’m not doing that whole college thing. He says, ‘Then be prepared to work your ass off and live on a stone, until you get your break’ and then he goes to work. I start wearing makeup; he raises his eyebrows and asks why? I tell him it’s a statement and I think I look sexy. He says ‘well, be safe’ and goes to work. I guess I just… I wanna talk to him, sometimes, about all the stuff in my head but he’s so damn busy all the time, so I don’t really mind fighting with him just to get him talking. I haven’t succeeded yet, though. I feel like an ungrateful son of a bitch saying that, when I think about Mia’s family but… yeah I’m dyeing it pink just to get a fucking response.”

Adam nods and pats the chair. Tommy sits and Adam wraps a towel around his shoulders. Trying to focus on anything else than the fact that they’re all alone and the intimate feeling connected to what they’re doing, he asks, “Um, what is it with Mia’s family?”

“You don’t know who her dad is, do you?” Tommy glances up at Adam.

“No?”

“Steven Tyler….as in Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler.” It’s said slow and careful, like Tommy is expecting Adam to flail and not wanting him to. Adam can understand that.

“Really?”

“Yeah. And there are times where he has a really hard time controlling his drug habits. That’s why Mia is staying with us. It’s so hard on her and moving out is the only way to get him to listen. The only way to get him in rehab.”

“Oh shit Tommy! I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They fall into a pleasant silence while Adam works. Adam is wondering how silence can be like that with Tommy. Especially since his body is hyper aware of everything Tommy related. 

Like when he washes the last products out of Tommy’s hair, small electric volts jolts from his fingertips straight to his cock, and the small noises of pleasure Tommy lets out when Adam massages his scalp make his heart race and his breath hitch with every little sound he can pull from Tommy.

When it’s done Tommy checks his new hair color out in the mirror. “Wow! It looks so cool. I don’t care if dad has a fit or not, this is so awesome! I can’t fucking wait to show Christian.” Tommy messes with his hair gleefully and his eye catches Adam’s in the mirror.

“Yeah it looks kinda good.” It really does and Adam smiles back at Tommy. He can’t fucking believe the courage it’s gonna take to walk into school looking like that the day after but Tommy doesn’t seem to be intimidated at all.

Tucking his bangs out of his eyes Tommy turns towards Adam. “Oh man I owe you for this! Name your price and it’s yours!”

Adam’s swallows, this is his golden opportunity. He bites his lip and Tommy tilts his head quizzically. “So?” 

He almost chickens out but then Tommy reaches out and puts a hand on his, squeezes it lightly.

Hoping it comes out confident enough not to sound pleading, he gets out. “Kisses?” He misses by a mile but Tommy doesn’t mock or turn away disgusted, not that Adam thought he would, but he still feared it.

“Kisses?” Tommy asks quietly as if he tastes the word.

“Yeah, Dani said no to teaching me how to kiss. So teach me?” Adam is at the point where he desperately wishes he kept his mouth shut because Tommy looks shy when he meets Adam’s gaze. “You want me to-”

“Unless you don’t want to of course,” Adam interrupts, heart clenching in his chest.

“Um.” Tommy looks strangely guarded, biting a cuticle.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

“No, no. Just give me a minute here and we can do that.”

“Yeah?” There is no reason to believe Tommy didn’t catch the hope in Adam’s voice, because Tommy sends him a smile that doesn’t seem all that sure. Adam’s stomach ties up in knots. This was a bad idea and he’s going to kill Danielle for putting it in his head.

Tommy looks pointedly at the door and Adam leaves the bathroom only to pace around in Tommy’s room twisting his hands nervously. He wants to kiss Tommy, wants to know what it’s like, but he doesn’t want to be the only one wanting it. He’ll embarrass himself, and the guarded look Tommy had sent him was not what he wanted Tommy to look like when they were about to kiss.

The door opens and Tommy closes it silently behind him, and Adam kind of wants to escape like a bat out of hell. Sounding calm Tommy asks, “Um, still up for this?” 

“It was a bad idea and you don’t have to-”

Tommy shrugs. “It’s just a kiss right? It’s nothing special.”

Adam’s heart sinks; he wants it to be special, so bad. “Yeah. So how do you want me?”

A teasing spark lights Tommy’s eyes and disappears, and Adam groans when he realizes what that sounded like.

“Just stay there.” Tommy wets his lips and comes closer, and Adam would do the same if he could move but as it is he’s pinned to the floor. Tommy bites his lip and suddenly Adam realizes that Tommy is nervous too. That hits Adam hard and his stomach swoops down behind his balls and up again making it hard to breathe.

When Tommy has moved all the way over, he holds Adam’s gaze locked and with a shaky voice he says, “Put your hands on my hips, and lean down to me.” Adam swallows, they’re really doing this. He’s so fucking high on arousal he can barely hear Tommy over the rushing sound in his ears.

Tommy move a hand up to Adam’s face and with a feathery light touch he guides Adam down with the tip of his fingers, just enough pressure to let Adam know what angle he wants. Adam stares at Tommy lips, mesmerized as his pink tongue darts out and wets his lips again. And then Tommy’s lips touch his, so light it can’t really qualify as a kiss. 

An embarrassing sound pushes its way out of Adam, and Tommy’s mouth is back this time with just enough pressure to make it good. Adam’s heart is beating its way out of his chest and he’s damn sure Tommy can feel it, with his fingers touching Adam’s neck it’s a dead giveaway. Those fingers move though a bit higher and into Adam’s hair as Tommy nips at the corner of Adam’s lips. Tommy’s tongue flickers out and Adam forgets how to breathe, the air caught in his throat and heart hammering, he opens to the soft press. Hot and slick and with a flavor that’s not really a flavor at all but pure him, Tommy’s tongue slides along Adam’s and with soft slow licks he owns Adam’s mouth. Shaking, Adam follows Tommy’s lead and kisses back; the low moan he pulls from Tommy nearly makes him come in his pants. Without thinking, he pulls Tommy close enough that Tommy’s abdomen is pressed against the outline of Adam’s cock. Shamefaced, Adam pulls back stuttering out, “Sorry.”

Looking away and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt he continues. “I didn’t mean to get carried away like that.”

Adam more feels than sees Tommy get closer and yet he still startles when two fingers slowly guide him back to Tommy’s gaze. “Why?” Tommy asks in a husky voice. Adam shivers.

“You don’t mind?”

“No I …. I kinda wanted this, have been for some time.”

A gleeful feeling takes over the awkwardness and Adam wouldn’t be able to hold back the smile spreading on his face even if he wanted to. “So I can kiss you again?”

Nodding, Tommy says, “Yeah, please do.”

This time Adam knows what to do and when the kiss ends Tommy looks up, panting. “I fucking knew you’d be awesome at this.”

Adam blushes and ducks to kiss Tommy again. Tommy makes a keening sound deep in this throat when Adam pulls him close again with a hand on the small of his back. Adam is pretty sure this has to be heaven on earth.

“Honey? Are you home?” 

Dia’s voice filters through the door and startled, Tommy giggles, “Shit!” He stumbles back wide eyed and clearly very, very turned on. Adam thinks he’s the hottest thing he’s ever laid eyes on. And fuck it if he isn’t the reason Tommy looks that way.

“Yeah mom, I’m home. Adam’s here too, we’re gonna come down in a sec,” he yells back at her, looking so freaking happy it makes Adam grin.

“Adam’s here, huh? Good,” she answers in a knowing tone. Tommy blushes deeply and dear lord Adam likes that.

“Yes. And I got a surprise up my sleeve.” Tommy snorts out a giggle as he touches his hair and Adam gives in to the contagious sound. Today might be the best day ever.

**

Adam is kinda scared and excited at the same time when he walks through the door to his English class the next day. It’s the first time he’ll get to see Tommy after what Adam thinks of as the most epic kiss of all times. Not that he has a lot to compare with but, whatever.

The thing is that they didn’t really talk about what happened up in Tommy’s room before Mrs. Ratliff announced she was home. They were kept in the kitchen for an hour where shy happy glances had been exchanged while talking about pink hair, school, friends and so on before Adam’s phone had buzzed and Leila had asked that Adam help with dinner at home. She had to drive his brother somewhere and even though Adam didn’t really hate his brother the feeling came close when he had to leave Tommy without any idea about what that, correction those! Kisses meant. Tommy followed Adam out but so did Mrs. Ratliff and there was no chance to talk to or let alone kiss Tommy again.

And if that isn’t enough then it’s their first class of the day and Danielle is for once in her life running late. Adam might hate her a little for that; it would have been so goddamn useful to talk to her before being face to face with Tommy.

Adam has his back to the door when the tiny hairs on his neck stand and his entire body reacts, and without a doubt he knows Tommy is there.

“What the fuck dude? Pink? You look like a fucking fag!” Frank’s voice cuts right through the chatter in the classroom and Adam ducks a little and blushes. It wasn’t about him, it wasn’t even said in a cruel tone and yet he still feels the word like a slap to the face.

Adam turns around to look at Tommy who is walking towards him smiling widely. When he’s all the way over by Adam he smirks and says to Frank, “You say that like it’s a bad thing. Maybe I am and proud of it. You know homosexuality is found in over 400 species but homophobia only in one.”

Frank laughs and grabs his crotch making an obscene gesture. “Then maybe you want a little of this.”

Tommy snorts, “I’ll pass. Thank you,” before turning his attention to Adam. Despite the playful banter and confident way Tommy just walked into class there is something strangely vulnerable in his eyes as they meet Adam’s. “Hey.”

Adam has to try twice before the “Hi.” he’s going for actually comes out. 

Tommy looks at the empty space Danielle usually occupies. “Where’s Danielle?”

“Dunno.”

Tommy nods and worries his lip, and with a low private tone he says. “Can I talk to you later?”

Adam’s heart starts hammering so hard it wouldn’t surprise him one bit if it was audible. “Yeah, is something wrong?”

A smile plays in the corner of Tommy’s lips. “Everything is perfect. I just- I talked to Dad last night.”

Relieved that was the subject and not an ’oh and by the way about yesterday? Let’s forget all about that’ thing and says, “Really?” Tommy nods. 

“Like talk, talk or fight.”

“Talk.” 

Tommy looks so happy and Adam is dying to reach out to touch him, to share that happiness, but it would be so much easier if he knew where they were. “ Aww. You wanna tell me about it?” 

Tommy nods again, biting his lips nervously. Adam kind of wants him to stop doing that because he doesn’t want Tommy to feel nervous about anything but at the same time he really wants Tommy to keep doing it because it’s so damn hot when he does and Adam can’t stop staring. ”Yeah, but I sorta have plans today with some friends.”

Adam’s heart drops to his stomach, making it lurch painfully. “Okay.”

“It’s not- I made those plans before..” Tommy’s voice is a whisper before it fades away completely and he’s looking everywhere but at Adam.

Trying to keep the disappointment to a minimum and failing miserably Adam fights not to let Tommy in on it. “It’s okay, really. I understand.”

“You could come? I mean only if you want to.”

Tommy looks kinda hopeful and Adam doesn’t need more encouragement than that, “Sure I just have to ask mom if it’s okay. Where’re we going?”

“Mike’s place. Two blocks from us.”

Adam nods and does a mental note to call his mom the first chance he gets, he’s not wasting this precious time with Tommy right now, though. “Okay.”

Adam doesn’t see Danielle before she drops down on her chair, eyes huge and in awe. “Oh. My. God. It’s pink.”

Grinning Tommy answers with a joyful “I know!”

“It looks awesome.” Danielle reaches out to touch it and Tommy bends willingly, letting her do whatever she wants. Adam is so damn jealous he feels like puking.

“I know!”

Frank cracks himself up and splutters out, “He looks like a My little pony or something..”

Tilting his head and batting his lashes like a damn princess but still managing to flip him off Tommy says in a completely innocent tone, “Aww I didn’t know you think I’m a cutie.” Frank snorts and rolls his eyes and Adam has to laugh even though he kinda wants to blurt out exactly how cute he thinks Tommy really is.

“Cutie or not! I’m still not letting your dick near my ass.” Tommy laughs and blows Frank a kiss. 

Frank laughs too. And Adam nearly misses Frank’s response. “Damn Tommy you’ve got balls.” Because really, words like dick and my ass is taking up way too much brain capacity.

“Guys, find your seats and books please.” Their English teacher Mr. O’Brian says tiredly.

“And don’t you know it!” Tommy says, as he finds his place because Mr. O’Brian obviously thinks it’s time to get their books out. 

**

They meet out in front of the school when the last class is over, they still haven’t had five minutes alone and Adam is dying; insecurity and want don’t mix well at all. 

Tommy smiles softly and starts walking. Leading the way to Mike’s house silently, he is doing that thing again where he sucks in his lower lip and keeps it there between his teeth. Once in a while Adam catches Tommy sneaking a sideways peek at him through his bangs, but that’s got nothing on when their hands sometimes brush against the others. No, because that fleeting touch just makes Adam want to link his pinky around Tommy’s and maybe even lace their fingers together. And his fucking breath hitches every time, too. 

He kicks himself for wanting it all so much, all the stupid clichés. The handholding and kissing and everything in between, so yeah Adam is dying, wanting desperately to know what the hell that kiss or kisses meant yesterday, but he’s too scared to ask. What if it was just kissing, nothing special, like Tommy suggested at first. What if Adam had dreamed up the ‘I’ve been wanting this for a while’ thing? He felt like such a loser for not addressing the issue, but he couldn’t face the embarrassment if Tommy said it was just for the practice of it. So they walk in awkward silence and Adam hates it.

Finally he works up the nerve to ask something. “Want to tell me now? Or-”

Tommy stops and points at the next house, he shrugs a little as if to apologize. “This is it, Mike’s house. Mind if we talk later?”

Adam wants to say yes, wants to just say whatever and leave. He’s never been one to indulge in self torment, but Tommy grabs his wrist and fucking finally are they touching on purpose, however innocent and lame that touch may be, it’s apparently enough for Adam to say, “No, that’s fine.” And follow like a dog on a leash. 

Tommy knocks on the front door and someone is yelling from inside the house that the door is open. Tommy opens and calls out “Mike?” as they walk through the door.

“In here, Mom’s at work so we’re hogging the couch.”

“Cool.” Tommy toes off his boots and pulls the hoodie off; the t-shirt he’s wearing under slides up with it, revealing a bit of skin not to mention the jut of a hipbone. Throwing it on a small bench in the hall he sends Adam a quizzical look and Adam remembers where he is. Tommy waits while Adam gets his shoes off and together, though Adam still feels like they’re miles apart, they walk into the living room. “Hi guys.” Tommy pokes the thigh of the guy sitting close by.

Smiling up at Tommy and with a curious look at Adam the boy says, “Hi Tommy.”

“I brought Adam. I hope that’s cool.”

“Totes.”

“Adam, this is Mike,” Tommy points at the boy whose leg he was poking. “And that one over there is Luke.” Adam greets them both and Tommy flops down on the couch, dragging Adam with him. Not that Adam minds one tiny bit.

They don’t really get comfortable before there’s another knock at the door and a whirlwind of a boy screams. “Wow! You fucking did it man! It looks so-” The guy is all over Tommy who giggles gleefully and squirms away when he ruffles the hair.

“Dude! Don’t mess with the pretty.” Tommy laughs while batting at the intrusive hand.

“I’ll touch if I want to. And where is my love?” Tommy smiles fondly and surges up to plant a kiss right on his lips. 

Adam’s not stupid. He figures this has to be Christian and Tommy already told him about them, doing this. It still doesn’t change the fact that for the first time ever Adam knows why people can sometimes be pushed to where physical harm feels like the way to go. Damn it Tommy was kissing Adam yesterday, and not just a loud peck on the lips and he still hasn’t gotten as much as a sideways hug from Tommy today. Adam’s so jealous that the only reason he’s not blazing out the door slamming it behind him is the fact that he has no claim on Tommy, not at all, and it would be the surest way to ruin any chances he might get with Tommy if he acts so stupid. Realizing just how bad he’s got it, tears starts to prick behind his eyelids but he somehow gets it under control. Danielle was right all along, he just hadn’t seen it coming himself.

“Hi Mike!” The guy releases Tommy and flings himself onto Mike who hugs him before pushing him off playfully. Sitting half on the couch and half on Tommy again he stares at Adam with obvious curiosity. 

Looking like the cat that got the cream, Tommy introduces them. “That’s Adam. Adam that’s Christian, I’ve told you about him.” Adam nods and offers Christian his hand to shake. When the politeness is done and over with Christian turns so he’s sitting on Tommy’s lap, giving him a thoroughly searching look. Tommy smiles and keeps looking back open and happy.

“Okay, can I talk to you? In the kitchen?” Christian eyes dart to Adam and back and a whole conversation Adam doesn’t have a chance of understanding is held right before him, without words.

Finally Tommy nods once almost hesitantly. “Um, alright.” 

Christian scoots off Tommy’s lap and with a look that says ‘stay right where you are’ he says to Adam. “We’ll be right back.”

Tommy leaves with a glance thrown over his shoulder and Adam sinks into the couch, wishing he could be a bug on the wall and not feel like he’s left in the dark.

Adam tries to pay attention to the TV but he keeps ending up with listening, hoping to pick up the murmured voices in the kitchen, without luck though. Mike clears his throat. “So? You and Tommy huh?”

“Um, what?”

“Nothing I just assumed that since he brought you… I’m gonna shut up now.” 

Mike looks a lot like one that knows he just messed up and did it thoroughly. But Adam is dying to know what he meant by that. “No please. I-”

“I hate you.” Tommy’s voice filters through to Adam. There is no heat in the words, though.

The guys stumble into the living room, Christian’s arms around Tommy’s middle as he sing songs, “You love me, you wanna marry me, you wanna have my babies.”

Tommy laughs, bright and happy. “I hate you so hard right now.”

Christian lets go of Tommy, crosses his arms while he sits down close to Mike and fakes a pout. “I’m not gonna let you snuggle while we watch that damn John Wayne movie you picked for today.”

Tommy gigglesnorts and somehow he ends up right beside Adam. “You’ll be begging me to cuddle you later and don’t disrespect the Duke. That man was freaking awesome!”

Luke puts on the movie and as if on cue all the teasing and chatting comes to a stop and Adam is left wondering how the hell that happened. He hasn’t seen one movie with Danielle or any other of his friends, not even at the cinema, without someone talking or at least whispering.

It doesn’t take long before Tommy is leaning in against Adam’s side and even shorter before he’s snuggling just like the day he’d been over with Mia. Adam fights to not put too much into that so he sits still, frozen. He doesn’t want to ruin this, it feels too good and yet he has no idea what this means. 

He tries to focus on his breathing, on calming the rhythm of his heart but all that runs through his dumb head is the way he thinks that maybe Tommy is doing the same. That maybe all Tommy can think about is kissing Adam again and wouldn’t that just be the best thing in the world?

At some point Tommy looks up and locks gaze with him. They stare at each other for a long time and it feels like all oxygen is evaporated in the room, making it even hard to breathe properly. Adam know he needs that air but how do you kick-start your body when someone as gorgeous as Tommy Joe looks at you that way? Tommy bites his lip and straightens up just enough to get him out from under Adam’s arm. For the longest time ever he just stares searching at Adam, and then he darts his tongue out just like he did the day before seconds before their lips met. Adam realizes that the quiet strained little moan must be coming from himself because it somehow puts Tommy into motion and slowly, so fucking slowly it almost ends Adam, he closes the space between them and soft lips brush against his. Adam reaches to cup Tommy jaw and keep him there. He feels Tommy’s soft moan more than he hears it and it’s all Adam needs to deepen the kiss.

It’s kinda awkward sitting like that and the angle is all wrong but it doesn’t really matter because that is Tommy sucking on his tongue and lips, making small impatient noises and trying to get closer. When he feels Tommy’s leg slide over his, Adam somehow, and how he does it he’ll never know, remembers where they are and that they’re not alone. So instead of working with Tommy and his effort to straddle his thighs he pulls back, looking around, embarrassed and turned on so much it hurts.

The room is empty, the TV is still on and the Duke is saving some damsel in distress. Tommy grins when he looks around following Adam’s gaze. “Best friends ever. Come here.” and then he’s pulling Adam in for another mind blowing kiss. This time Adam’s the one making sure Tommy gets closer.

Tommy follows easily though and with a leg on each side of Adam’s hips, hands in his hair he dominates Adam’s world. Nothing exists but Tommy. 

Adam lets a hand wander from the small of Tommy’s back down to his ass pulling him even closer. The needy sound that comes from him because of that makes Adam’s cock throb hard against the restraint of his pants and he’s helpless against the need to move his hips in small thrusts upwards. 

Tommy moves his lips away and litters kisses along Adam’s jaw and down his neck clawing impatiently at the shirt, until he gets to the skin on Adam’s collarbone and latches onto it. It feels so good Adam’s pretty sure he’s gonna end up creaming his shorts if they don’t stop. Like now.

“Tommy please.” He moans it out between hard shallow pants and hands that roam Tommy’s body.

“Please what?” is whispered against his skin, hot moist air ghosting across it leaving Adam a quivering mess.

“Don’t.” That gets Tommy’s attention. Immediately their gazes are locked and Tommy looks guarded, confused and turned on with pupils blown and lust shining in them.

“Too much? You don’t-”

“I don’t wanna come in my pants the first time I meet you friends and much longer like this I will.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah and …. I have no idea what the hell we’re doing here.”

“Making out, obviously.” Tommy presses a lingering kiss to Adam’s lips and needing to know the reason why they’re doing it seems to be less important. Adam manages to hold on though; he doesn’t ever want to go through a day like this again.

“But why?”

“Um.” 

There’s that lip-bite again. Adam lets a thumb run over the lip, soothing it. “What are we? Do you want to date me or is this something entirely else. I gotta know.”

The smile Tommy sends him is a weird mixture of ‘oh fuck yeah’ and shyness. “Yeah, yeah I’d like that. The dating part.”

“Good. Me too.”

They share another slow kiss before Tommy whispers. “Um, we should probably tell the guys they can come back in.” 

“Yeah.”

**

Walking home Adam asks, “Wanna tell me about the talk with your dad?”

“Um, yeah sure.” Tommy says. He’s the image of happiness and quiet calmness so Adam tries his best to look calm too. The truth is that he’s everything but that. Butterflies flaps around in his stomach, he wants to hold Tommy’s hand but doesn’t know if that okay. Not only because he doesn’t know if Tommy would want to or not but he also doesn’t want to smudge this with stupid remarks from strangers on the street. So to keep his mind off things like that he wants to talk. Thankfully it seems like that’s okay with Tommy.

“When Dad came home yesterday I was in my room, supposedly doing my homework. I was however totally daydreaming.” He laughs softly. “When he came up he took one look at me and asked me to join him in the garage. I was so ready to you know? Argue and everything, but he just pulled out two chairs and got us something to drink and then he looked at me, saying he’d talked to Mom and apparently you had been by earlier.”

Tommy looks at Adam and Adam gives him his best ‘go on’ smile.

Shrugging Tommy continues. “I sorta just waited for him to continue when he asked me if there was something I wanted to share with him. Just like that.”

“So you really talked,” Adam says, all happy for Tommy.

“We were in the garage for hours Adam. We talked about all kinds of things, but we mostly talked about music and dreams….. expectations and um….. you.” the last part comes out a little quieter and Adam’s butterflies go fucking crazy, and apparently they set off his heart to join the craziness.

“Me?”

“Yeah. I dunno, Mom and I are really close and yeah, I don’t really do secrets, Mom would see right through me anyway, so I told her about how you confused the hell out of me a while ago.”

“I confuse you?” Adam doesn’t know what to make of that.

“Not you as much as the being attracted to you, you know?”

“Oh. So your dad knows too.”

“Yeah, it was actually a terrifying conversation, but he loves me and wants me to be happy and he’ll support me no matter what, and you know? Mom probably did most of the footwork anyway.” Tommy chuckles.

Adam is still trying to wrap his head around it all. “Fuck Tommy! You told your parents!”

This time it’s Tommy’s turn to look surprised. “Yeah? Don’t your parents know?”

“Yeah they do, I mean not about you but about being gay and it took me forever to tell them and I was scared shitless.”

“Yeah me too.”

Adam doesn’t really believe that, he’s actually starting to think nothing will ever scare him. “But you just told them right away.”

Tommy stops in his tracks. “No, no I didn’t, it took me quite a while before I even told Mia.”

“But…but… I thought you said you only ever felt like this once.”

“Yeah?”

Adam doesn’t get it, Tommy had told him about a guy he was crushing on. So why would Tommy tell his parents all about him when there had been this other guy? Either his thoughts are painted all over his face or Tommy is a mind reader because he shakes his head and says, “Oh my God. Adam you’re the one. I’m not saying there is no other dude on the planet that can play those tricks on my mind and body that you do, I haven’t met everyone, but so far you’re it and it didn’t happen yesterday, it’s been a while you know?”

Like it’s the biggest riddle of them all Adam asks, “So you really want this?”

“Yes. So much.”

“So I can like kiss you goodbye before I go home today.”

Grinning from one ear to the other Tommy says, “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t. And don’t fucking break my heart. Mia will have your ass if you do.”

That makes Adam laugh and the awkward shyness disappears a little. He throws a quick glance down the road and finds it empty. “And what about holding you hand?”

Tommy reaches out and grabs Adam hand, entwining their fingers. “Finally! Thought you’d never ask.”

**

Adam feels like he could live on cloud nine when he gets home. Tommy Joe is his freaking boyfriend, how awesome is that?!

“Somebody is in a mighty good mood,” his mother singsongs when Adam can’t keep his face from breaking into one huge grin after the other.

“Yup,” Adam replies.

“Want to tell me what caused it?” Adam’s happy bubble bursts at that innocent question. His mom knows about him, but he is so not ready to share the giddy feelings with her and he doesn’t know why.

Adam shakes his head, “Naw. Not right now.” As soon as the words leave his mouth he knows he’s being stupid. Tommy’s friends know, Danielle knows, but he can’t tell his mom? 

Later that night when Adam is curled up under his covers, his mind spins with heavy thoughts. He’s got a boyfriend, a real perfect and amazing boyfriend, a boyfriend that dyes his hair pink and answers back with a sassy comment when others are mean about it. A boyfriend that told his mom and dad about him and a boyfriend that Adam has no doubt will walk right into the classroom tomorrow and lay a kiss on Adam’s lips. Adam wants that kiss, painfully much but not in front of everyone, just the thought of it terrifies him and sends his mind on a downward spiral about bullying and gaybashing and oh my God how is he ever going to survive falling in love with someone like Tommy. Joy and worries pull in opposite directions and he doesn’t fall asleep until the early hours.

*

When the doorbell chimes the next morning Adam is no less conflicted. “Hey!” Tommy says and pushes past Adam before throwing his arms around him in a tight hug.

“Morning.” Adam loves this about Tommy, he’s so immediate and acts on how he feels. Adam wishes he could be like that, so carefree. He isn’t, though, but this, hugging Tommy warm and tight, that he can do and he wants it so much.

“Ready for school?” Tommy mumbles into Adam’s shoulder.

Adam shrugs and Tommy pulls back to look at him, but keeps his hands loose on Adam’s shoulders. Adam feels like squirming under that gaze, like Tommy could find a way into his soul no matter how hard he tried to keep him out.

“What’s the matter?” Tommy asks, the question is quiet and his eyes never leave Adam’s face.

There’s no way to make this sound cool or even somewhat good, so Adam just stumbles right into it. “Um… I… can we keep this… us.. to ourselves?”

“What do you mean?” Tommy tilts his head and Adam hates the worry that sneaked in to his voice and even more so when Tommy lets his hands fall down to his own sides. He misses the warmth, the connection immediately.

“Just… I don’t want people staring or make cruel comments. I just…. I don’t want to ruin this, to make it dirty.” Adam reaches out to touch Tommy, to take his hand because it feels wrong not to have that connection when his body tingles all over just from having him this close.

“Oh… um, okay. So you don’t want anyone to know?”

“Yeah, I mean obviously your friends do and Danielle knows too and I want that, I do want our friends to know…. I trust our friends…. Just not the rest of the world.” In that moment Adam would have given his right arm to know what Tommy was thinking, because he looks so very thoughtful, chewing on his lip and looking at their linked hands, but he can’t and he feels a bit like he’s left in the dark until Tommy releases a barely audible sigh and softly says, “We gotta work on that then, because I kinda want to shout it from the roof tops.”

“Just not now okay?” Adam asks timidly as he meets Tommy’s gaze. 

Tommy shakes his head. “I can wait a little to do that… it’s just… I’m really into you, like, really fucking stupefied crazy in love with you and I want to brag to everyone that’ll listen that Adam fucking Lambert is my boyfriend.”

Tommy’s words and the force he puts behind them makes Adam’s poor heart stop and then try to race the fuck out of his chest. Adam cups Tommy’s chin with a hand and crushes their lips together in a hard needy kiss. “Fuck Tommy.” 

“Sure. But school first.” Tommy grins and Adam’s brain leaves him altogether because, really? That’s a possibility?

*

Adam spends the next month being ridiculously happy, in love, it’s awesome. There’s not a thing he would change if he could. Tommy stops by Adam’s house every morning so they can steal a couple of kisses and walk to school together. He absolutely loves sitting next to Tommy in biology classes with knees bumping into each other, stealing small touches that look completely innocent to all the others and then share knowing smiles, like they have the biggest and best secret in the world. He knows Tommy doesn’t want to hide his feelings, so when they’re sitting at the table at lunch with Danielle and sharing food and snacks it feels so good that she knows and that they can talk about ‘them’, that Adam happily ignores the nagging feeling that it won’t be enough for much longer.

No, he would rather think about how Tommy fits, how they want the same for their futures or how even their fucking zodiac signs are perfect matches. There isn’t one thing in the world that can convince Adam that Tommy isn’t made for him. 

Like now when they’re making out on Tommy’s bed after school and Tommy’s body feels like it’s perfectly sculptured to match his and Tommy is warm and willing and fuck, trembling underneath him.

“I….. I’m close, please Adam.” Long fingers dig into muscles on Adam’s back and they lock gazes, Tommy looks so beautiful, sweaty and needy, all because of him. 

Adam moves his hand faster, curled around the both of them; their hard flesh and slippery wet, velvet soft skin against his hand is making exquisite and obscene sounds as they pant into each other mouths, too close to orgasm to kiss properly.

“Nhggg.” Tommy’s hips raise from the mattress, his back arches as the tension in his body uncoils and he’s coming in hot spurts over Adam’s hand and cock, and if Adam wasn’t already joining him that would have gotten him there. Tommy is fucking hot like that.

“I love you.” is whispered softly at the shell of Adam’s ear, long fingers move soft and languid through his hair and no, there isn’t a single thing Adam would change. His life is nothing but awesome.

“I love you too baby.”

Adam rolls off of Tommy and gets a washcloth from the bathroom and cleans them both. Tommy still looks blissed out, pink hair fanned out on the pillow, body boneless and pliant, a sleepy dazed look in his eyes as he watches Adam. “C’mere,” Tommy whispers and scoots over to make space for Adam, lifting the covers as an extra invite, not that Adam needs it. “We’ve got time to cuddle before anyone else comes home.” 

Adam crawls right in and seconds later Tommy is sprawled across his body and Adam tucks the cover over them. They kiss lazily and it’s so good Adam never wants it to stop. Who knew having a boyfriend could be like this?

After a while Tommy sighs and asks softly. “Adam?”

“Hmm.”

“When are we gonna stop hiding this?”

There is no denying the sadness or want in Tommy’s tone. This isn’t the first time Tommy’s brought it up and it pushes Adam’s guilt button. To make up for the words he’s about to say he runs his palms soothingly along Tommy’s body, trying his best to let Tommy know he wants this, him. “I… I don’t know… I need a little more time; I just don’t want to ruin our perfect little world by letting mean words smudge it.”

That earns him another restrained sigh. “I just…. Could you at least tell your family? I’m pretty sure they already figured it out.”

“I’ll talk to Mom soon, I promise.”

Long dark lashes fan up and Tommy’s brown eyes search his own. “Thank you. It’s just… I don’t want to be a dirty little secret and it’s not like they don’t know you’re gay at home.”

“You’re not a dirty little secret, Tommy! Well you sorta are, but you’re special to me and I don’t want to share with the world.”

Adam gets a smile and a half and he knows that despite Tommy saying, “Okay.” he is gonna have to stop being scared because it hurts Tommy.

**

Adam does tell his mom and there is an immediate reward. His mom wasn’t exactly surprised and was happy that Adam finally fessed up and it made him happy, maybe even a little bit peaceful.

And Tommy practically beams when he comes over, after hearing Leila yell at Adam that his boyfriend was on the phone, and then he grabs Adam by the wrist and drags him into his room and shuts the door before dropping to his knees and giving Adam the first blowjob of his life and Adam has to muffle his own moans with his hand, because Tommy’s mouth, warm and wet is sucking him, his rough hands keeping him against the door and his hips still while his evil and sinful tongue laps at him and it is fucking glorious and over way too soon.

Tommy wipes a bit of Adam’s come off the corner of his lip with a thumb and says with a hoarse voice. “Imagine what could happen if you kissed me at school!”

And Adam does imagine and he does wanna do that but he’s scared and why can’t Tommy see that? But he’s not going there and certainly not when Tommy hasn’t gotten off; he’s not that kind of boyfriend.

“I’d rather think about repaying the favor,” he says, because he really, really does want to do that. 

Tommy answers with a smirk and then he thumbs open his jeans, slowly walking backwards until his calves hit Adam’s bed. And oh my God, how did Adam get this lucky?

**

Over the next month Adam tries his best to work up the nerve to at least hold hands with Tommy at school or something like that, because damn it! He really wants to show Tommy off just as much at Tommy wants with him, but he can’t let go of the anxiety. He freaks every time. 

Adam jumps when Tommy sneaks up on him from behind and whispers “Hi.” right before he smacks a quick kiss on his cheek. Adam damn well near drops his books that were supposed to go into the locker. And he can’t hide the fact that he checks if someone saw Tommy do that. The pained sound coming from Tommy hurts, but he has no idea how to fix it. So he settles on a “Hi.” It’s fucking stupid.

Danielle’s chipper voice make both their heads turn. “Hi guys.”

Tommy hugs Danielle and Adam suddenly realizes that Danielle isn’t Adam’s friend anymore, she’s their friend and Tommy makes it even clearer when he asks her. “Hey could you tell Adam that it’s okay to kiss his boyfriend?”

Danielle sends Adam one of those looks that says ‘man up’ as well as it says ‘I love you’: Adam will never know how she manages both at the same time. “Adam you can kiss your boyfriend, that’s kinda the point in having one.”

She isn’t exactly quiet when she voices her opinion and Adam hisses. “Shhhh. I wanna do that, all the fucking time, just not here with half the school watching.”

Judging by the look on Tommy’s face Adam just made a terrible mistake saying that or using that tone, because his face goes blank, but his eyes can never hide how he feels and hurt is shining in them. “I gotta get to class, I’ll see you in Biology,” Tommy says before fleeing down the hall.

“Damn it Adam! Why won’t you let him kiss you?” 

Danielle punches his shoulder and Adam rubs it because apparently she meant it. Adam feels ashamed, he hurt Tommy and Danielle is making it worse. “I just… it doesn’t feel right, here.”

“Hmm. Have you ever seen me hold back?” Mischief plays in her eyes and it lifts the mood a little.

A smile tugs at his lips because she really doesn’t hold back. “No, but that’s different.”

“Because you let it be,” Danielle says and squeezes his shoulder and making a silent apology for hitting him.

Adam catches her gaze and keeps it, he’s so not kidding. “No, because every day someone gets beaten to death for being gay.”

He’s nowhere near ready for her laughter. “Oh for crying out loud, we all know you’re gay! Have you ever gotten close to getting beat up?”

“No they don’t and no, you know I haven’t.”

“Trust me, they know. I’m not sure they know about Tommy because he used to date girls, but they know about you, sweetie. They do.” She shakes her head at him in that ‘you’re so dumb’ way she’s been using since childhood and it makes him feel small but it doesn’t convince him she’s right.

**

Later that day Tommy stays on the threshold to Adam’s room and drops a bomb on Adam. “I think we need a break.” 

Adam feels like his world might be ending, he can’t even get off his bed to go greet his boyfriend properly. “What?”

Tommy grabs the doorframe and Adam absently notices he’s holding on so tight his knuckles turns white. “I…. can’t do this… I can’t hide. I refuse to let you do that to me. I feel like I’m dirty, something not worthy of showing off. I love you, I want to be with you, but it hurts too much and I just… I can’t Adam.”

Adam simply can’t understand the words coming from Tommy. “You want to break up with me?”

“I dunno if you can really call it a breakup when it wasn’t official.”

“It.. I… I told my mom…. Neil knows, Danielle and all your friends! You’re my boyfriend.”

Tommy doesn’t look at Adam even though Adam does his best to capture his gaze, and his voice is so small and hurt that Adam wants to cry. “I can’t be that Adam. Not when you won’t even hold my hand unless the streets or halls are empty.” Finally Tommy looks up and Adam sees something precious and fragile in his eyes, he sees Tommy’s love, and maybe it’s even for the first time he really recognizes it for what it is, and it’s painful because the love there is completely mixed up with pure pain and Tommy should never look like that. “You say you won’t share me, Adam….. well guess what! You’d never have to because I’d be yours, sharing a boyfriend is about monogamy not about who knows. And you’d never have to share if you really wanted me. Never.”

“Tommy please don’t do this, I love you,” Adam begs and tears starts to make his eyes blurry.

“Prove it. Hold my hand down the hall tomorrow, fucking kiss me at the lockers and then I’ll believe you. But I doubt you can do that for me.” Tommy’s voice is barely a whisper and Adam sees he isn’t the only one crying. There’s only a few feet between them but it feels like the gap might have been the Grand Fucking Canyon.

“Tommy! Please….”

“Prove it, Adam. It can’t be that hard. I’m going home. I’ll see you tomorrow at school and I hope I get to go home with a boyfriend that isn’t ashamed of me.” Tommy sniffles and turns around to leave.

“I’m not ashamed of you-” Adam tries but Tommy isn’t stopping, he’s still walking away, down the hall. Adam can hear the soft sounds of his steps but he’s too shell-shocked to actually move, to try and stop him.

“Tommy!” 

There’s no answer just the sound of the front door quietly clicking shut.

**

To Adam’s surprise Tommy shows up the next day just like always, though he doesn’t come in and there’s no good morning kisses. Adam wants to cry. A heavy loaded silence makes every step to school harder and Adam tries, he fucking tries to just grab Tommy’s hand and twine their fingers together but something about Tommy is making it even harder than it would have been the day before. He seems like he’s unreachable.

Tommy doesn’t once ask him to do anything, he just walks beside Adam, eyes on the pavement and lip caught between his teeth.

Entering school is even worse because Adam fucking knows that when Tommy has put his mind on something then that how it’s going to be, he’ll enforce it with that strong stubborn and calm way that somehow just works, and Adam is running out of time and he’s never been this nervous before.

Tommy follows him to the lockers and leans up against the one next to Adam’s, huge brown eyes follow his every movement hopeful but oddly distant too.

Adam looks around, there’s people around them everywhere and Adam’s heart pounds so loud it feels like maybe those people should be able to hear it. “Tommy…” he tries weakly.

“I figured.” Tommy’s soft disappointed voice filters through all the other noises. “See you around Adam.” 

When Tommy pushes off the locker Adam reaches out, the panic he feels coloring his voice. “Tommy, please.”

Tommy doesn’t look at Adam, though. Instead he slams a fist in a locker followed with a pissed off “Fuck!” that startles the people around them and then he pushes through the crowded hall and Adam’s heart fucking breaks. 

“What was that about?” Danielle asks curiously.

“I just lost my boyfriend.” Adam can barely say it, it hurts so freaking much.

“What?” Danielle shrieks.

“He gave me an ultimatum and I couldn’t….” Adam runs a palm over his face, trying to hold back the tears he feels pressing in.

“You moron.”

“Great! Like I didn’t feel bad enough already.”

Danielle must hear his despair because she hugs him, surrounds him with comforting warmth. “Oh sweetie. Talk to him.”

“No Danielle, he’s right you know… he deserves better than me.”

“No, but he’s not unfair, either.”

**

A week passes and Adam is heartbroken and it doesn’t help one little bit that he knows Tommy is just as messed up about this as he is. At first he tries to get Tommy to talk but he won’t. He just tells Adam he knows what to do.

They walk on eggshells around each other and it hurts, it hurts so much that Adam can’t even talk to Danielle about it. When he’s not at school he stays at home, alone, not wanting to see one damn person.

He wants to be able to be mad at Tommy, to rage that this perfect world of theirs shattered and left him numb. He can’t, though, because he know that if only he had been able to say fuck it to the world and had taken Tommy’s hand that morning, Tommy would have been curled around his body right this minute talking about all the things they could or should do together. Instead he’s lying there alone and miserable with his head buried in his pillow.

When there’s a knock on the door he suspects it to be his mom and mutters a “Go away.”

The door however squeaks as someone pushes it open. “Not gonna happen.”

“Mia?” 

Adam raises is head from his pillow and narrow his eyes, squinting at her. She doesn’t hesitate, she just walks right over and flops down next to him, giving him a hard glare. “Yes Adam. We need to talk.” 

Adam moves into a sitting position, Mia’s tone worries him. “Is he okay?”

Mia situates herself so they’re face to face; her knees almost close enough to touch Adam’s. “What do you think? No he’s not okay, he’s hurt and he’s been crying. Crying, Adam. I’ve only ever seen him cry once before and that’s when he saw his dog get run down by a car and she died. He was eleven. What the actual fuck?”

Mia’s tone isn’t angry, it’s concerned and it makes Adam choke up. “I-”

Mia takes his hands in hers and looks at him. “I really, really like you and that’s the only reason I’m not kicking your ass. He’s convinced you don’t love him enough to show it in public. What I need to know Adam is if that’s the truth or if that’s his broken heart talking?”

Adam swallows and wills back the tears he feels threatening to fall. “I’ve never been in love like this before and I want him back. I need him back.”

“He thinks you’re ashamed of him.”

Unable to hold back the tears he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m not. He’s the bravest, most amazing human being and I love him. But I’m scared Mia. I don’t have that ‘fuck your opinions of me’ way of thinking, I’m insecure and scared of what people think and I get hurt by mean words. I don’t want to but I don’t know how to change it!”

Mia scoots a bit closer and thumbs his tears away, gently holding his face and his gaze locked. “Sweetheart, if you let other people’s thoughts of you influence you too much, what’s gonna be left of you? How are you gonna know the real you?” 

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t please everybody and you shouldn’t try to. You’ve got to love who you are and stay true to that; if you keep worrying about other people’s opinions of you, you give away parts of you that those people do not deserve.”

Adam shrugs and sniffles and Mia sends him a smile full of sympathy. “We all have our battles; do you think it’s easy for me to tell my dad, when he’s totally fucked up on drugs and I’m terrified he’ll kill himself if I turn my back on him, that I’m going to live with Tommy for a while? Because let me assure you, it’s not. But I do it because it’s the right thing to do, he needs me to do it and I need to do it for me as well. I have to convince myself that I’m worthy of a good life and that I can’t let Dad fuck it up. And you know what else?”

When Adam shakes his head, Mia goes on. “I have someone that loves me enough to pick up the pieces of me whenever I break apart. He’s affectionate, actually he’s about the cuddliest dude ever, he’s passionate and even obnoxious at times, he’s got the biggest heart and wouldn’t know how to manipulate if he tried to but I still end up writing an essay of his…. Or maybe even two, you know? Because he makes me feel loved, needed and wanted. Me? Of all people he loves me, and damn it if you aren’t lucky enough that he loves you too.”

“I know… and he does that to me too…. I’m me when I’m with him.”

“Do you like yourself with him?”

Adam isn’t too sure where Mia is going with this, but he knows the answer. “Of course, he makes me feel loved and accepted and….. comfortable. Like I’m enough.”

She nods and let go of his face but stays close. “The way I see it….. You got to make a choice; you’ve got to find out if that person, the one that feels like he’s enough, isn’t worth a little hassle. I’m not saying you won’t run into hateful people that don’t know better because you will, but my bet is it’ll be worth it and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

“It could kill me. It happens, and gay kids take their lives because of bullying as well,” Adam says quietly for the first time ever, putting words to his fears and somehow that makes them crumble a little.

“It happens yeah, true…” Mia says thoughtfully, “but hiding who you are will kill you too…. Slowly it will drain your soul and leave you an empty shell of who you could be. And sweetie, bad things happens to people every day, you could die walking down the streets today…. It doesn’t mean you can’t leave the house does it? It means that when you do you take your brain with you and act accordingly to the situation because that’s all you really can do. You need to decide if what you and Tommy have is worth more than what you're afraid of, if you are worth more than what you're afraid of. And if that’s so then you go out, hold your head up and take it one day at a time and know that he's standing there right beside you, holding your hand, facing the same exact things you are."

Slowly Adam understands what she’s trying to tell him, and he feels an odd kind of release….. like something breaks free in him and flutters for the first time. “Yeah.”

Mia sees it dawn on him because she smiles a bit wider and squeezes his knees affectionately. “He’s worth the trouble, you’re worth the trouble. Love yourself enough to love him back Adam. He needs you just as much as you need him. Chose to be happy, not to be scared of ‘what if’s’ and stand up for yourself and Tommy.”

“Thank you Mia. I needed this.”

“Sure sweetie. I’ll talk to Tommy too and try to get into his head that you’re not ashamed but that you’re scared.”

“I think he knows.”

“He really doesn’t, Adam. He thinks you don’t love him as much as he loves you.” Mia gets off the bed and bends to press a kiss to Adam’s temple before she leaves.

“He’s stupid.” Adam snorts when she reaches the door.

“You both are. But you know what? You’re free to prove me wrong.” She winks and leaves Adam to his own thoughts.

 

**

Adam is dead set on getting Tommy back and he has a plan! A fucking plan. He knows Tommy will do his best to avoid Adam until their biology class but then he has to sit next to him. Adam also knows Tommy will be on his spot before he will so he can’t take Tommy’s hand and walk into class with their fingers entwined or sneak up on him by the lockers before class and kiss the hell out of him. So the plan is to at least hold Tommy’s hand out of class and into the halls before kissing the hell out of him. Adam is still a little intimidated, but when he’s honest with himself he knows he’s more scared of Tommy pushing him off and telling him he was too late, than anything else.

Of course Tommy fucks up that carefully laid plan. Or maybe it’s Mrs. Peterson that does but it might also just be life.

Adam has a whole belly filled with butterflies when he enters the classroom and sees Tommy by their table. Tommy is doodling something in his notebook; his hair that’s turning blonder day by the day is hiding his face from Adam. Adam sits down quietly and offers an equally quiet “Hi.”

When Tommy doesn’t answer right away Adam notices how Tommy’s shoulders are screaming with tension.

“Baby what’s the matter?” 

Tommy’s head whips up and brown eyes burning with heat look at a stunned Adam. “The fucking world is what.” Adam swallows, Tommy looks pissed off, like, really fucking angry and that’s just not an emotion he had ever put together with Tommy.

Mrs. Peterson claps her hands and says firmly, “Attention up here please. Okay so today’s topic is homosexuality.”

There’s the usual complaining sounds made by an entire classroom filled with teenagers without any motivation to learn at all, but one voice rings a bit clearer. “Gross!” Frank says and though his tone is more mocking than mean it makes Adam cringe internally. But Tommy, he sits up straight and spins around to glare at Frank “Why the fuck would you say that?”

“Tommy! Language,” Mrs. Peterson says firmly but looks at Frank like she’d like to know as well.

Tommy grumbles at the reprimand. “Sorry, but I want to know.” And she nods in agreement, the whole class pays attention now, eyes darting back and forth between Tommy and Frank and Mrs. Peterson like they don’t really know what to think.

Frank looks like he wishes for the floor to swallow him whole and Adam can’t really blame him because Tommy looks demanding and impatient and so, so pissed. Clearing his throat Frank tries. “It’s just gross okay! The whole image of two guys making out or worse.”

Tommy lifts his chin and for a small guy his presence sure fills a lot of the classroom. “Why?” Tommy demands “love is love, gender shouldn’t matter.”

Frank shrugs and meets Tommy’s glare. “It’s just wrong.”

Tommy shakes his head in a ‘not good enough’ kinda way and Adam sees him throw a quick glance at their teacher. “I wanna know why it’s wrong.”

Adam can’t help it, he smiles, Tommy is not backing off and Adam has never been more proud to know this person, he can practically feel his heart expand with the emotion.

“The bible-”

Tommy’s eyebrows go up and he looks like that is the dumbest thing ever. “Is up for interpretation!” he says, not even letting Frank finish. “There’s not one place in the bible it says ‘Homosexuality is wrong’.” Tommy does air quotes but that doesn’t chip the shield of power that seems to be around him. “That argument there is because you didn’t think long enough to come up with one yourself. So tell me why do you think it’s wrong?”

“I … it’s not natural.” Frank stutters and Adam is sure the absolutely fierce Tommy sitting beside him could intimidate just about anyone.

“Says who? Because I know I told you once before that homosexuality is known in over 400 species” 

Frank looks at Mrs. Peterson quizzically, who nods and says “It’s true.” 

“But homophobia,” Tommy continues, not slowing down his argument “is only known in one! And you know why? Because of ignorance.”

“I-”

“And how about two girls, you find that gross too? I bet if we took a look at your porn stash there would be lesbian porn.” 

Poor Frank doesn’t even have time to think, Tommy’s glare and arguments clearly leaving him on open sea. “Yeah but that’s different. That’s hot.”

“You think most straight girls get off on that?”

“I…. I dunno.” Frank’s voice is weak and his answer is stumbling.

“Exactly. You don’t know because you won’t think further than your own cock.”

“That’s not true, Tommy.”

“I’ve known you most my life, we went to kindergarten together and though we’ve never been close I’ve always put you in the friend category.”

“Yeah me too.”

“Would you call me your friend if I was gay? Would I disgust you if I kissed my boyfriend at the prom or in the halls?”

And just like that Adam knows exactly where the anger is coming from. He’s the reason, Tommy is angry because of the things he told Mia yesterday.

“Tommy,” He whispers but Tommy doesn’t respond to Adam’s quiet plea.

Frank looks puzzled. “Why would you ask me that? Do you? Have a boyfriend?”

“No.” Tommy shakes his head and Adam’s heart, the one he thought couldn’t hurt more than it already did, breaks all over again. “I did though. And I was in love… am I love with him… but assholes like you took that away from me.”

The classroom buzzes after that statement but Frank is the one that looks completely stunned. “I didn’t-”

Adam reaches out and grabs Tommy’s elbow wanting him to turn around and look at him instead of Frank but Tommy yanks his arm free and without even acknowledging Adam’s presence he goes on with his argument. “Yes you did! Because he is too scared of narrow minded people like you, judging or bullying him or even getting violent because of something he has no control over, to actually be with me and show me the kind of affection you show your girl when you’re in public places. And you know what?” 

Frank shakes his head in denial. “It killed me, to sneak around like we were doing something wrong, that he was so fucking ashamed of wanting me that I broke up with him even though that is just as hard. So don’t you say you’re innocent because you’re not. Why shouldn’t I be in love and happy, just like any other person, just because the person I fell for happens to have a cock instead of tits? Can you justify that, honestly?”

“Tommy,” Mrs. Peterson says calmly. “That’s enough. You made your point.” She looks at him with a lot of empathy but that doesn’t stop his sarcasm. “Really? You think so?” 

However, Frank still has something on his mind, in an apologizing tone he says, “No… I can’t. Tommy I had no idea I was just…. I’m sorry. Okay. I didn’t-”

In a ‘tired to the bone’ tone Tommy kind of accepts it. “Yeah okay but maybe you should think a little about how words affect people’s lives and then maybe, just maybe be smart enough to get your own opinions on things instead of just swallowing the easy solution the Bible is. Real living people is what counts.”

“Enough, Tommy,” Mrs. Peterson stresses at the exact same time Adam puts his hand on Tommy’s arm and says “Tommy.”

Once again Adam feels the rejection when Tommy shakes him off and he feels the worried look he knows Danielle is sending him. “Whatever! I can’t fucking stay here.”

When Tommy scrambles off his chair, Adam does the same and this time he makes sure to hold onto him. “Tommy.”

“What Adam? WHAT?” 

The fury that burns in Tommy’s eyes almost covers the pain Adam knows fuels it, but Adam won’t let Tommy down this time so he doesn’t lower his voice. Fuck the world. “Please calm down. Don’t run out of here like that, don’t do what I did.”

Adam hears the whispering voices and for once in his life he doesn’t care that they’re about him.

“I’m not scared of these people Adam,” Tommy answers, his eyes are begging Adam to understand what’s going on here. “They’re just kids like us. Hate only has power if you let it and I own my shit, I’m just so fucking pissed off.”

Adam nods because he does know what’s going on and he’ll frigging prove it. “At me! You have every right to be and I deserve that, I do because I failed you, but baby, when are you going to get it into your head that I’m proud of you, I was so fucking proud to be your boyfriend? You’re amazing and I love you!”

Tommy blinks and then pointedly looks around before tilting his head, silently asking Adam if he has the slightest idea to what he’s doing. There’s also hope in Tommy’s eyes where anger burned seconds ago and it supplies Adam with more courage than ever. He tears his gaze from Tommy’s and looks around in the classroom, meeting all those curious eyes and then he loudly and clearly announces, “Yes! I was Tommy’s boyfriend. And nothing would make me happier than to get to call myself that again.”

He meets Tommy’s gaze and fuck it if he isn’t the cause of Tommy’s eyes watering again but Adam can’t really focus on that when Tommy reaches out, clearly hoping for Adam to take his hand. “You know what to do. You know what I want.”

You could have heard a pin drop to the floor, the tension in the room palpable. 

“It’s still that easy?”

“Pretty much.”

Tommy wiggles his fingers in a ‘God, hurry up and take my fucking hand’ way and Adam happily ignores it to close the gap between them. Right before he tilts Tommy’s head up to meet him in a kiss he whispers, “C’mere baby.”

And then they’re finally, finally kissing and after a week without Tommy-kisses it feels like coming home. The kiss is soft and tender and very sweet and decent but it still ignites the both of them as well as it breaks the tension in the room, and the air is filled with whistling and awww’s. Adam feels like laughing loud and bubbly but what comes out is a gigglesnort. Tommy hides his face in the crook of Adam’s neck and kisses it right before he suggests that they skip the last two lessons to make up properly. 

**

Adam can’t get the smile of his face when Tommy packs his books in a hurry and slams his locker closed.

“Home, now.” Tommy grins and takes Adam’s hand and together they run down the hall, totally skipping the two last lessons like Tommy suggested.

The way back to Tommy’s home is a terrible mixture of pure and utter joy and a need to be naked and close right the fuck now, combined with knowing that they need to talk too. Like really fucking talk.

Adam has a million thoughts running through his head but every time he tries to put words on them Tommy either melts his brain with a long gaze and a happy knowing smile, or a touch that might look innocent to the people they pass on their way home, but Adam knows is anything but.

Also there’s the hurry in which they’re moving, it doesn’t really call for the kind of talk Adam knows they need to have.

Tommy practically drags Adam up the stairs and into his room. “God, I’ve missed you. Kiss me,” Tommy demands the second the door closes behind them, and who is Adam to deny him kisses?

So Adam does, and the soft moan from Tommy tells him just how much Tommy appreciates the teasing little nips before he slides his tongue into Tommy’s mouth, deepening the kiss and tasting him. Adam loves the way Tommy just opens and lets him control the kiss. He swallows the tiny whimper escaping Tommy when he presses him against the door, tilting his head with a hand on his throat and a thumb on his jaw, urgency running wild in his veins.

He wants to savor this, to make it last. He wants Tommy to really understand just how much he loves him. If Tommy doesn’t wanna talk right now; Adam sure as hell can try to show him how he feels. So he takes his time and makes the kiss about kissing, about Tommy, and it works because he feels how Tommy’s knees buckle and how he grabs Adam like he wants to climb him like a tree or wriggle into his clothes. Tommy’s hands roam Adam’s body, making it hard not to throw it all overboard and just go for it. 

“Bed,” Adam whispers between kisses generously pressed along Tommy’s neck.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Tommy moans, but he doesn’t make any attempt to move other than to roll his head to the side and offer Adam more of that delicious skin. Adam licks a wet trail up again and plays with the silver in his earlobe, basking in the sounds he’s able to pull out of Tommy; he wants more. He backs away and with fingers firmly attached in Tommy’s belt loops, he pulls Tommy with him towards the bed.

Tommy grins and struggles out of his shirt before Adam is able to do it for him, but Adam is so not complaining about that because all that naked skin is just waiting for Adam to touch.

He pushes Tommy down onto the bed and Tommy complies so willingly and with a wicked smirk he lures Adam into another deep kiss. Feeling like he could get lost here with hands exploring Tommy’s soft skin, teasing a nipple and stealing broken sounds from Tommy’s lips, he lets his hands wander further south.

He undoes Tommy’s belt and slides his hands over the soft skin of his waist and hips. Tommy lifts his hips, a silent plea for Adam to get his pants all the way off, but when Adam isn’t moving fast enough Tommy breaks the kiss, panting “get ‘em off.”

“Bossy,” Adam murmurs between kisses down Tommy’s chest.

“‘m not,” Tommy denies breathless. “I just want…..”

Adam snakes his hands into Tommy’s pants and lets them wander in a slow caress as he slides them down his legs to his ankles. Tommy tries to help but it’s a poor attempt, and Adam laughs softly when he removes the last of Tommy’s clothes and then his own. Tommy is making it hard to focus on the task in hand when he’s spread out, legs open and a hand loosely wrapped around himself, lazily stroking as he’s watching Adam, brown eyes hooded with desire and love. Adam swallows and his eyes drop to Tommy’s hand, to the way his thumb works his cockhead glistening with pre-come before a down stroke.

“I want to . . .” he says, sinking to his knees in between Tommy’s thighs. Adam bites his lips and looks at Tommy. “Can I?” he reaches out to touch, the same time as Tommy nods and let his hand slide away from his cock. “Please,” Tommy says, and he sounds every bit as eager as Adam feels and Adam can’t stop staring at the way it looks. His mouth waters and he ducks down to take Tommy in his mouth. He slides his mouth around the tip. It’s hot and salty and Adam loves it. Tommy makes a broken noise and wraps his hand gently around the back of Adam’s neck, before it moves up in Adam’ hair. Adam follows the gentle guide to where Tommy wants him to be before he starts sucking in earnest, cheeks hollowing, loving the way Tommy sounds when he does that.

He knows he's lost in the scent of their arousal, the feeling of Tommy and the way he responds to every touch, and yet Adam still feels in control with Tommy writhing on the sheets. It’s him, Adam, that makes Tommy’s fingers twitch in the hair on the nape of his neck, that makes Tommy’s muscles tight and trembling under Adam’s hands, him that makes Tommy’s cock pulse with need between his lips and he can’t get enough off it. He feels like he can conquer the world. 

“I’m…” Tommy pushes weakly at Adam and Adam haunches back on his heels. He watches Tommy as he rubs the last two strokes it takes before he’s coming.

“That was…” Tommy flaps his hand and Adam grins. “Awesome,” he says.

“Yeah. Come up here. Gimme a kiss.”

Adam crawls up Tommy’s body and his cock jumps when it drags along Tommy’s warm skin; he aches with need and he knows if Tommy puts his hand on him right now that’s all it’s gonna take before he’s coming too. It doesn’t stop him from rubbing against Tommy’s thigh, though. Tommy smiles knowingly and Adam let him roll them so Tommy is straddling him. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Tommy whispers against Adam’s lips before stealing a kiss, then another and another.

Adam’s mind short circuits when Tommy finally loops his fingers around him in a light teasing touch. It’s maddening but not as much as when Tommy moves so he can go down on Adam. And gods does Adam want that sinful mouth on him. Tommy gives Adam’s cock a long lick from root to tip, flicking away the pre-come there. Then he sucks lightly on the head, looking up at Adam through his lashes. Tommy’s mouth is amazing, hot and wet. He’s riding Adam to the edge and keeping him there, stuck in that moment of agonizing anticipation. “Please,” he hears himself saying.

“Please what?” Tommy asks and Adam groans because he really didn’t want Tommy to leave him hanging.

“Please finish it,” Adam begs. “Please, please, please.”

Tommy smiles and bites Adam’s thigh delicately before sliding his mouth over Adam again. He sucks at Adam hot and hard, his hand working with his mouth until the orgasm hits Adam in a shower of sparks.

“Holy fuck.” Adam mumbles, his world just exploded in pleasure and it was too much and not enough. He’s pretty sure that it’ll always feel like that with Tommy.

Cleaned up and snuggled closely against each other, Adam finally says what was on his mind on their way home. “I’m so proud of you. I want you to know that.”

“Um…why?” Tommy asks quietly and rearranges so he can look at Adam. When soft brown eyes meet Adam’s, urging him to explain, Adam continues, “I… you’re one of those amazing humans that speak up. You never just say something to fill the air, especially not in the classroom but when you have something on your mind… Man you’re fierce!” Adam runs his fingers along Tommy’s cheekbone and down to trail the perfect cupid bow. “I think you’re a little bit dangerous to me, but I love you for it.”

Tommy frowns. “Dangerous? Why?”

“I mean that in the best way,” Adam assures him. “You make me want to do stuff that scares me. You make me want to feel free; you make me yearn for things. Things I am afraid to claim for myself but you make me want to be better… for me… and for you. You pull me right out of my comfort zone and into open sea. I was such a coward and part of me still wants to hide but I guess we’ll see if I can swim.” Adam looks at Tommy who seems thoughtful and he wonders if he should have been completely honest and told Tommy that the greatest danger to Adam’s heart is if Tommy suddenly decides that Adam isn’t what he wants. 

He almost does but then Tommy starts to move so he’s lying on top of Adam. With his palms flat on Adam’s chest and his chin resting on them he says. “You’re not a coward, Adam. We all have things we fear and facing them head on is never easy and it’ll never be easy. But you can do this… we can do this. I just wish you had told me so we could have talked. Please don’t keep something like that from me, ever again.” Tommy sends Adam a challenging look.

“I won’t,” Adam promises.

“Good.”

The relief in Tommy’s tone is palpable and Adam can’t hold back his biggest fear. “Don’t leave me again, it’ll break me.”

“I’m here for as long as you want me,” Tommy says matter of factly, but softens it when he pushes up to kiss him tenderly.

“I can’t imagine I’ll ever stop wanting you. I love you,” Adam whispers.

Tommy gives him a searching look. “You really mean that, don’t you? That you love me.” 

Adam nods, “I really do.” 

Smiling Tommy steals another kiss. “I love you too. So much.”  



End file.
